


The Price of Liberty

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe- non magic, Branding, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, James/Sirius - Freeform, James/Various, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulation, Modern Fantasy, Prejudice, Prostitution, Seducing, Slow Burn, depictions of violence, dystopian fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:58:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6312637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Potter, outcast, Sympathiser, and charged with his mission of protecting Remus Lupin, one of the Inflicted.  When James gets the idea to kidnap the prominent Heir to the Black fortune for a healthy ransom, he knows he's willing to risk everything for it.  For the chance to escape the country and find sanctuary for Remus.  But everything changes when they realise Sirius Black isn't everything he seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh the much awaited Steal the Heir fic. I'm not sure how many chapters this is going to be, but it's based off an anon request where James and Remus can't afford Remus' meds so they kidnap Sirius for ransom. I don't think it was meant to be this dark (and it won't stay this dark) but you know... I went where my muse took me. This chapter is the intro, so it's shorter, but the rest should be decently sized.
> 
> Please take caution with this fic. It deals with dark themes about politics and bigotry, and mentions of violence so if any of those things trigger you, feel free to pass on this one.
> 
> (for updates on my other WIP see the end notes)

The paper sack hit him in the centre of his chest, and first he was overwhelmed by the smell of mould, and then the smell of rot. He glanced up at the grocer, then down into the sack and saw a few salvageable bits amongst the apples and bread.

James opened his mouth to argue, though. Because he’d done the job two days faster than asked, and without complaint. Even when the crates had crashed down on him, fracturing a rib, he hadn’t stopped. But then he watched those cold, blue eyes flicker to the swooping S scar on his wrist and he was violently, angrily reminded why he had done four days of work in two—and was being paid in a handful of coins and a bag of moulded food.

The mould, at least, he could use. And he felt less bad about the sack of half-frozen chicken cuts stuffed in his sack.

“Check back next month. I may have more work for you,” the man said. James had never got his name—most of the people who worked with Sympathisers kept their identities secret. No one wanted to be caught supporting them. Nearly as bad as the Inflicted—the only real difference was employing someone like James Potter wasn’t a crime.

Employing someone like Remus Lupin however…

James tried not to think about it right now. Not now when he had enough to get them by a few days. Because Remus was starting to look pale and shaky. The black market pills were becoming less and less effective as the weeks wore on, and even now James hadn’t managed to scrape together enough for another month’s supply.

Yet.

He had a few more prospects, and if that failed well…he had a back-up plan. The only problem with that was it ended up giving him an infection and forced him to use the money for Remus’ medication on his own to clear it up.

James felt it was better not to reply to the man. He never knew these days what was going to tumble from his lips. Sometimes he thought back to his childhood. Being a wild eleven year old growing up in a huge manor, servants and not a care in the world. He was starting at one of the most prestigious schools in all of Britain, his parents nothing short of royalty. They’d come from India to make their fortune and they’d succeeded.

And then Riddle happened.

James swallowed thickly, grabbing his things, and pulled the hood of his jumper up over his head. The sleeves fell long and low near his fingers, the brand marking him for life covered from prying eyes along the street. He darted through alleyways, heading straight out of town for the woods. It was a long walk, nearly an hour, and gave him more time to reflect on how mad the world had gotten in such a short time.

How the country had let someone like Riddle be elected. How they’d let those laws pass. How somehow they managed to see the Inflicted as monsters instead of people suffering.

They had treatments, too. Treatments to suppress the attacks and let the Inflicted feel human. They were all victims. None had ever been born, and yet somehow they were blamed for their own misfortune.

Remus himself had been just a boy—less than five years old when the maniac working for Riddle had snuck into his bedroom window—a retaliation for John Lupin’s political leanings. He’d bitten Remus during an Outbreak, passing on the disease which forced Remus to suffer attacks, tearing at himself, at anyone who came near him.

Once upon a time, when Remus was young, the suppressants were affordable. They weren’t nearly as effective as the new ones on the market, but by the time Riddle had his way, only the insanely rich could afford even a single day’s dosage, and the others were forced to scrounge in dodgy parts of the bigger cities for medication that was mostly poison.

James knew this.

James, who had known Remus since they were boys. When Remus’ parents begged the Potters—notorious sympathisers—not targeted due to their fortune, to take the boy in. He would be safe there. He would have treatment and sanctuary.

Remus was allowed to go to school. Albus Dumbledore had allowed an Inflicted on the grounds provided any attacks he was kept quarantined. 

But just a year after they’d finished school, the Potters had been driven back to India, James had been branded—literally—a sympathiser, and Remus was suffering more and more. The attacks were once a month now, and James was being forced to resort to more and more barbaric measures just to keep himself and Remus from being ripped apart.

Licking his lips, James paused by the small brook and filled up his bottle of water. He took a few gulps of the cool water, grimacing a bit at the flavour of moss and foliage, but it was the best he’d get for now. The days of bottled water were more like an old dream now. A fantasy.

He swiped the back of his hand across his forehead and then hurried along. He wanted to make it back just in case. Remus had looked so poorly when he’d left.

Forty more minutes passed before he came into the clearing and saw smoke billowing out of their little chimney. The wires of their stolen electricity looked frayed, and James knew he was going to have to tend to them soon—before winter. He couldn’t afford to lose track of the news. Not when new laws were being passed daily.

For now the unaffected people of the country had enough humanity left to keep the Inflicted from being murdered on sight—but it was only a matter of time before Remus’ very existence became an executable crime. Which made James feel sick.

Remus had been his brother in more ways than one. And he’d sacrificed everything he had, everything he was, to keep him safe.

There was no sanctuary anywhere for the Inflicted. Not anymore.

Pushing the door open, James stepped in and found Remus curled up on the sofa. He was pale, trembling fingers, but still coherent. For now. One amber eye peered open and the smallest smile graced his mouth.

“You’re back,” he said.

“I am.” James moved through the room, depositing the sack of bread and apples on the table, then put the chicken in the fridge. It would be enough for a large pot of soup—which would feed them at least for a week if he stretched it far enough.

When he turned back, Remus was trying to sit up, and James hurried over, putting his arm round Remus to ease him against the cushion. “I thought you’d be a few more days.”

James winced at the pressure against his ribs, and gave an involuntary cough. “It’s fine. I wanted to get back early. Just in case.”

Remus was frowning at him. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” James said quietly. “Really it’s nothing.”

“You’re hurt.” Remus reached out and managed to get James’ jumper halfway up, sucking in his breath when he saw the violent bruising.

“Hazards of the job,” James said. He closed his hand round Remus’ wrist and gently pulled him away. “I promise, I’m just fine.”

Remus’ expression said he clearly didn’t believe him, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. No doctor would see James—not one they could afford anyway, and he’d healed from a lot worse. “I’m glad you’re home. I can…well I can feel it. I think it might be tonight.”

James let out a trembling breath, then put his hands on his knees and pushed up. “We’ve got tea leaves that should be dry enough now. Let me make you some before…before we batten down.”

Remus swallowed, his hand involuntarily flying to the barely-healed wounds on his wrists. “That sounds lovely. I don’t think I could stomach more.”

James leant down, running a hand into Remus’ curls, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Moony.”

Remus laughed quietly and leant into the touch just for a minute. He’d been severely deprived of touch during his life. His own parents believed the hype—not sure what could transmit the infliction to others. It wasn’t until the Potters gave hugs and kisses freely, tended scraped knees and bumped heads, that Remus understood familial affection.

During his life, it had only ever been James and his parents who hadn’t been afraid to touch him.

Now he needed it more than ever, and James never shied away. Even on nights like tonight.

Once the tea was sorted, Remus curled back up on the sofa, his body wracked with pains of the upcoming outbreak. James would have asked him about the meds, but he knew Remus was trying to draw out what little they had. This outbreak would probably be a bad one—their supply had been so sparse this month he had even less in his system than normal.

James decided to take a short break from thinking about it, and helped himself to a bath. The one luxury he allowed himself when he was back from working. Their tub was large, and the water was warm, and he stole soap whenever he had the opportunity. It was a balm on his aching ribs, that hot water, and he watched as the tendrils of dirt from two days’ worth of agonising work floated off his body.

He allowed himself the second luxury of letting the water drain out, and refilling it a second time to scrub his hair and watch his toes poke out of the soap bubbles floating on the top of the water. For five minutes he could forget about the brand on his arm. The memories of being held down and the red-hot iron S searing into his skin didn’t exist. Just for this moment.

He was James Fleamont Potter, spoilt son, destined to get married and have a family and inherit his family’s money.

Which was now locked away in a vault—the brand of sympathiser making it illegal for him to touch. The money, which would solve all of their problems.

Once or twice James had entertained fantasies of breaking into Gringott’s and stealing a part of his fortune. A lot of it was in gold and he knew far too many people who would pay for it. But it was untouchable, and if he attempted something like that and got caught…

He shuddered to think of the consequences.

A cry from the lounge drew James out of his thoughts, and he sighed, climbing from the tub. It gave a gurgling roar as the last of the water drained out, and he walked into his room with a towel round his waist. Rummaging through his things, he found his cleanest pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt—old and tattered, a relic from his old life, and slipped it over his head. His glasses, broken and repaired with poorly applied glue, perched back on his nose, and he headed back for Remus.

It was nearly time. His eyes were all-but glowing, skin almost grey, and his whole body was trembling. He gave James a grimace as he held out a hand, and James eased him up.

“It’s time,” Remus gasped.

“I know, love.” James put an arm round his waist and together they went into the far room. 

James had spent months sound-proofing the back room in their cottage. He lined the walls, sealed up the windows, and installed the chains into the flooring. The bed there was a thin mattress on the floor, soiled and foul, but there was no point in making it more pleasant. It would never matter.

Remus took a breath as he squeezed James once, then let himself fall back, his arms spread out on either side. James bit down on his lip, bit back his self-hatred for what he was about to do to the one person he loved most.

Taking the spiked chain, he held it round Remus’ ankle, and tried his best not to hear the pained cry as the spike sunk into Remus’ flesh. It clamped down, and James twisted the lock. He repeated same motion with Remus’ other leg before moving up to Remus’ wrists.

He met the amber eyes which were fading now, the humanity slowly draining. “Hurry,” Remus said through clenched teeth.

There was no time for comfort. No time to ease the pain. James felt the skin give way under the spikes as he clamped the cuffs round Remus’ wrists, then put the gag in his mouth, buckling it to keep Remus from biting off his own tongue, or reaching over to tear at his arms with his teeth.

There were tears in Remus’ eyes, and from behind the wood gag he gave a cry as it started. James winced, brushing a few stray curls off Remus’ forehead, even as the other man began to scream and convulse. 

James knew there was no sense in watching this. He could come back by dawn, when it passed, and tend to his wounds, bathe him, and feed him.

For now he would ignore the cries and make soup, and catch up on the news.

James Potter hated their life, but he was determined to make things better. He wasn’t sure how. But it would happen. He had no other choice.

*** 

Sat on the sofa with a bowl of soup, the cottage was quiet for now. The telly was blaring, fuzzy and nearly all static, but Remus was quiet, likely passed out from the pain for now. The howling would begin soon enough, but James was determined to appreciate the short reprieve.

_”Notorious playboy Sirius Black is in the headlines again,”_ came the bright reporter’s voice on the screen. _”Caught in an indecent position in Blackpool, the eldest Black—heir to the Black fortune and son of the prominent MP and right hand man of Prime Minister Riddle, Orion Black—had no comment to give, but this is nothing new. Over the last three weeks he has been spotted from picking up common blokes in pubs, to rubbing elbows with foreign royalty. Just last month Mr Black was spotted having a conversation with a Sympathiser, and although he replied no comment, his cheeky wink said this Aristocrat likes to live dangerously.”_

James let his thumb rub over his scar, and he wondered what it would be like to have friends in high places. Someone like Sirius Black. He had actually known him briefly at Hogwarts. Black and his brother had been the princes of Slytherin house—arrogant, Sirius the troublemaker of the pair who liked to shake things up. He and James had a short rivalry, but it had once been Regulus, the younger, who’d captured James’ attention. They played opposite each other—both centre-forwards on their house footie teams—and James had found him…fascinating. Regulus had been stoic, quiet, and got good marks. James had never admitted a desire to know him better, but he had wanted to.

Sirius, on the other hand, had never crossed his mind much.

But now…

James worried his lip in thought. With someone like Sirius, he would have leverage. Sirius, who put himself in vulnerable situations. Sirius, who wanted to rebel against his family by rubbing elbows with Sympathisers. Sirius, who wanted to make a splash.

Sirius the heir.

Who was worth more money than James could fathom. Enough money to get himself and Remus out of the country. To one of the small islands offering the Inflicted sanctuary and treatment. 

He glanced at the bits of apple and bread mould on the table he’d cut off in his attempt to replicate some of the suppressant medications they were paying for, and thought about Remus being offered something to take that didn’t tear up his insides and drag him closer to death.

But it was a mad idea, wasn’t it?

_”Sirius Black is reported to be in London this week with his father, attending several meetings at the House of Commons. We will, of course, be watching to see what other antics the Black Heir gets up to.”_

James gulped and winced when the screaming began again.

He had to do something. Whether it was mad or not, whether it was reckless or even—on some level—evil. Because the Black family had been there when this started. They had signed the laws, they had voted for people like Remus—the kindest person James had ever known—to be seen as less than human. So why should he feel for them?

Why should he consider what he really wanted to do, was wrong?

James had made up his mind long before he properly talked himself into it.

The moment Remus was over his Outbreak, James was going into London.

And he was going to kidnap the Heir.


	2. Seduction

Remus grimaced as he adjusted the bandages over his left wrist, depositing the already bloodied ones into the bin. James was a few feet away, buttoning his shirt, and trying desperately not to meet Remus’ soft, amber gaze.

“So what is this job again?” Remus asked quietly. It was clear he knew something was different this time. James didn’t get job where he wore smart shirts and trousers. No one wanted to hire a Sympathiser to be the face of anything. No one wanted the public to know that any of their money went to support that cause.

“It’s…I have to accompany someone somewhere,” James said cryptically. “I don’t have a lot of details yet.”

Remus licked his lips, then eased himself up off the bed. He winced, the wounds in his calves still not close to being healed, and his legs didn’t want to support his weight. But he bore it, as he did every month, and padded across the hall to the bathroom where his pills waited.

James sighed as he heard him take his dose—not even half of what he should be taking, but he was trying to stretch it out to last a little bit longer. “Just…relax, okay? I won’t be gone nearly as long.” He hoped. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to seduce the Black heir, nor did he know if he would actually be able to get the man back to their cottage without being seen.

He had a plan. In the form of his dad’s ancient motorbike he barely got running. He’d spend the night before syphoning petrol out of their nearest neighbours car, enough to get him to the city and back. The rest of his supplies—bonds, a gag, a heavy blanket to keep the heir immobile—those were tucked away in the supply compartment.

His plan was to walk the bike to the main road, then drive into the city. He’d been watching gossip news for the last three days as Remus healed, plotting out as best he could, the itinerary of the MP’s son. He knew they were staying at the Hogwarts Resort in central London. It’s where all the prominent politicians stayed, and because he knew the heir liked to make a scene, likely he’d start out at one of the more popular clubs, but end up trying to pull somewhere a bit seedier. Like the Three Broomsticks or the Hog’s Head.

James would have an in there, so long as he had enough money. Which he did, presently. Just enough to fund a single night of fun and seduction. And kidnapping.

He let his hand run over his pocket, feeling the small kitchen paper wrapped round two pills. Pills which he would crush and drug the heir. Pills that would keep him docile enough to get him out of the city, so long as they could leave unnoticed.

The only issues James could foresee is any bodyguard the heir had, and what Remus’ reaction would be should he actually get away with this. Never mind what would happen to Remus if James failed and wound up in prison—or worse. Remus would be dead within the month. But he could only begin to imagine how he was going to explain this to his brother after he finally got the heir back to their cottage.

But he was going to do it. He was at the end of his rope, and he had to get Remus out of the country. Remus wasn’t going to survive more than a handful of Outbreaks, James could tell that. Between the pain, and the poison in the black market drugs, Remus’ life was ebbing away.

And James hadn’t sacrificed everything he had just to let Remus die like an animal. James didn’t care what it turned him into. Murderer, kidnapper—if Remus survived, he could live with it.

With a sigh, James shrugged his hoodie on over his shirt, tucking his nicer jacket from days long past, under his arm. He stopped in the doorway of the bathroom, watching as Remus wet his face. “I’m off,” he said when Remus grabbed a towel to dry off. “Will you be alright for a few days?”

“I’m sorted,” Remus said, turning to James. He held out his hands, and was rewarded by being tugged into a soft embrace. James kissed Remus on the temple, and ruffled his curls. “Just be safe. Please.”

James didn’t miss the begging undertones in Remus’ voice, but he kept his wince inward. He didn’t want to worry him, and he didn’t want to give away his plans. It was too important, as angry as he knew Remus would be with him when he learnt what James was up to. But Remus would have to understand. James knew he couldn’t go on this way, and James wasn’t about to lose Remus to a plague that could be treated. He wasn’t about to bow to a government that worked for people like Remus to just give up. Remus would not be a statistic.

He deserved so much better.

Clapping Remus on the shoulder, James looked him deep in the eye. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise.”

Remus carefully stepped aside, knowing these goodbyes could go on and on. James hated leaving him, more than he hated anything. But today he didn’t linger. He grabbed his pack, then headed out the door.

*** 

Feeling the wind whip across his face, James adjusted his goggles, and used one hand to steady the bike as the other tugged his hood up tighter over his head. The motorway to London was near empty, as it was most days. There were too many stragglers at night, too much risk from the Inflicted, or so the government would have people believe.

Not that James wasn’t frightened from time to time. Most days Remus was a loving, kind, amazing man. And then he was the monster. And it wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t something James could ever forget. Even as it tore him to bits inside to scar and maim him, it kept them both alive. James could never have sympathy for the monster. He could never let his guard down on those nights.

He would leave it for the other days when Remus was all human. Those days when James could hold him and relive stories of their childhood by his parent’s pond, and running through the halls of their school plotting pranks and wreaking havoc. Those days when they didn’t know what was to come, when the world was in front of them for the taking. Where the Infliction was nothing more than just a distant worry.

Sucking in his breath against the biting cold, James slowed the bike to a crawl and quickly found an alley full of massive dustbins to tuck her behind. He was close to the club district now, the dodgy little buildings where those who wanted to stay unnoticed would slink. A place where Sirius Black, rebel and heir to the biggest fortune in all of Britain would go as a way of shoving double Vs at his parents. To rub elbows—maybe cocks—with the Sympathisers and feel like he truly was not just like those who were stripping the humanity from Remus piece by piece.

James felt a violent hatred for Sirius then. It would take all of his control not to just beat him senseless and drag him away kicking and screaming. James had been a kind person once, but now he ached to dish out some pain to those who deserved it. To let a little relief to come for people like Remus who had committed no crime other than to exist in their bodies.

But he couldn’t let himself.

He had to get it together. He had to be charming. He had to be the man he had been just a handful of years ago when he had offers of marriage and a bright future ahead of him. The man who could wink and get a man or woman sliding into his bed.

James had never taken advantage of that gift before, but tonight he was counting on it. It was buried deep under his swirling S scar, and the working callouses marring his hands. It was hiding beneath ribs scarred by the pain of years just trying to exist.

But it still existed.

Locking his things in the storage compartment of the bike, James shucked his hoodie off and hid it near the seat. He paused by a window of a closed shop, ruffling his hair to give it a wind-swept look. The look which came naturally to him, that sons of the prominent MPs spent more money than James could dream of anymore, on salons and stylists.

He turned from left to right, checking out his reflection. It had been too many years since he cared, but tonight it was more important than anything. Tonight he had to be successful.

Eyeing the clubs, he managed to catch on to the one Sirius was likely to attend. The least dodgy of them all, but enough to give the spoilt brat his thrill. There was a small queue, but James had no intention of waiting in there. He crept round the back, finding an old storage window barely big enough to slide through. There were metal bars, but they were rusted at the hinges and came away easy by the strength he’d built by his years of manual labour.

Setting them aside, James used the sleeve of his coat to punch out the glass, and carefully slid in. He felt a few tears, scrapes along his skin by the shards, but not enough to cause a scene. No one would notice on the dim floor of the club, and with any luck, Sirius would be well pissed enough that it might make it more interesting for him.

The storage room was empty and dark as James padded across the floor, but a few minutes later, the door swung open. James dove into the shadows, behind several stacked kegs of beer, and he waited. The man who walked in, hunched shoulders in his old age, was grumbling to himself.

“Little twat thinks he can come in here with those bloody bastards and tell me how to serve…queering up the place like the little ponce his family refuses to admit he is…”

He was here. Sirius was already in the club and already noticed. It meant he had bodyguards with him, but James was undeterred. Sirius had snuck off with plenty of lovers, and if he was clever enough, they could give them the slip. He’d just need Sirius to come willingly.

Which meant relying on his charm instead of the drugs.

James could do that. He was sure he could do that.

As the man slipped back through the door, James caught it with his foot just before it slammed shut. Easing it open, he managed to slip out, which led to a dark kitchen corridor. He tugged his sleeves down over his scar, and tried to look confused and lost.

A cook saw him and immediately narrowed his eyes. “You there. Get the hell out of here! This isn’t for guests.”

James threw up a hand. “Sorry mate,” he said, trying to sound already pissed. “Just looking for the loo.”

“It ain’t in here ya fuckin’ ponce!”

James scurried for the doors which led to the club, and he was immediately assaulted by thumping, loud, rhythmic noise. There were lights flashing, a makeshift dancefloor where markings told him tables once sat. Sirius’ presence had turned the place from some dingy sport pub to something that belonged in the heart of posh London, and there were enough people looking less than thrilled about it.

James almost laughed to himself, but he didn’t have the time. Because James Potter could see his target. It was impossible to miss him, really. Even if Sirius’ face hadn’t been known, he’d still have drawn every eye in the room. He was lanky, his limbs flowing to the music like water. His hair was in a perfect disarray as he dragged his fingers through long locks, a bit of fringe falling over one, laughing eye. His features were chiselled, carefully bred, slender, almost hollowed cheeks sitting below sharp, narrow grey eyes.

His clothes looked painted on, black leather trousers, a sheer top with several buttons undone along the chest. He wore a silver chain wound round his neck with a figure James couldn’t see properly in the light, but it glinted every time he moved, and kept everyone’s eyes focused on the pale expanse of skin.

He was dancing now, surrounded by three or four women. Several men looked on in envy and Sirius knew. His eyes flickered round the room expectantly. Bored, in spite of his laughter.

Oh James knew him.

He was the same Sirius who roamed the halls, his Slytherin colours flashed proudly even though once or twice James believed neither of the brothers belonged there. They walked with an air about them, like they were two souls born into the wrong family.

James had once wanted to know them.

Now he just wanted to make them hurt.

He couldn’t let himself see Sirius as human. Just as Sirius’ family had turned Remus into a monster. No. He had to entice him, seduce him, and draw him away.

He knew it wouldn’t be easy. Sirius wouldn’t be swayed by someone who was brash. No, someone like Sirius wanted the chase. The indifference. James could give him that. Shrugging off his coat, he set it on one of the barstools and undid the buttons on his sleeves, though he kept them down. Laying a twenty note on the counter, he caught the barman’s eye. “Scotch.”

He was rewarded with two fingers in a foggy glass, and he took a sip. It had been too long since he’d imbibed, and he knew he had to be careful. He needed his head about him. When the barman tried to take the note, James’ hand darted out and pinned the barman down.

“What’s he drinking?” he asked, nodding at Sirius.

The barman snorted. “On who’s tab?”

James’ mouth turned up into a smirk. “On his own.”

The barman laughed. “Gin. Dry.”

James let him go, and leant back a little, striking a casual pose. He reached up with a hand, flicking a couple of his own buttons open, then glanced back surreptitiously over his shoulder. Sirius was watching. James was the only one who didn’t have his eye on Sirius, so of course he was watching.

He flexed his arms a bit, letting his muscles show through his shirt.

Three, two…he counted down.

One.

“Is this seat taken?” Sirius’ voice was slightly low, a bit smoke-rough, and would have been attractive in another life.

James spared him a slight, side-glance. “Yes, actually.”

Sirius looked mildly startled, then barked a laugh. “Oh really?”

“Yes,” James said. “Really.” He let his drink dangle from his fingers, managing to spill most of it onto the floor. When he drew it to his lips, he took the last few drops down and set the empty glass on the bar top. “So if you don’t mind…”

Sirius looked momentarily confused, as though he wasn’t sure what to do, then he beckoned over the barman and put one hand lightly, but firmly, on James’ arm. “What’s he having?”

The barman raised an eyebrow. “Scotch.”

“Then I want your most expensive. Three fingers, however he takes it. On my tab.”

James grinned inwardly in absolute triumph. Outwardly he turned toward Sirius, one eyebrow raised. 

“Is this seat still taken?” Sirius drew his finger along the top of the barstool, both eyebrows up near his hairline. 

James licked his lips, then gave a nonchalant shrug. “Dunno if he’s going to show anyway. So suit yourself.”

Sirius gave a slightly astonished nose, like a cross between a laugh and a cough, but he slid onto the seat anyway. A few of the girls from earlier approached, but Sirius gave him a casual wave off. “Not now. I’m getting to know my new friend here. Er…”

“Jamie,” James supplied. “Prongs.”

“Interesting name. Not very common at all,” Sirius said, leaning on his elbow. His eyes were still narrow, lips red and bitten.

James slowly turned toward Sirius and offered his own salacious look. “Well, I’m not very common, you see. So I suppose it’s fitting.”

Sirius shifted over so the edge of his knee slid between James’. “I can absolutely see that, Jamie. My name is Sirius.”

James chuckled, his head shaking as his scotch was presented with a flourish. He took the glass between two fingers and a thumb, giving it a sniff, but he didn’t drink it. “I know who you are.”

Sirius blinked, then grinned. “Do you now? You see I wasn’t sure because when I walked up I…”

“What?” James asked, crossing his arms with the scotch still dangling from his fingers. “You expected me to trip over myself for your attention?” He leant in very close, letting his breath ghost over Sirius’ cheek as he spoke into his ear. “Swoon like someone out of an Austen novel?”

Sirius let out a harsh breath as James leant back, and his head cocked to the side. “Jamie…you look familiar. Have we met?”

“Oh I doubt it,” James said, but he felt the beginnings of nerves start to get to him. What if Sirius recognised him? He pushed the scotch toward Sirius. “Have some. I like to share.”

Sirius swallowed, his throat bobbing with it as he took down half the glass, and his eyes were a bit glazed over. He was already pissed, and that was working in James’ favour. “Good choice, Jamie. Good indeed.”

James leant one elbow on the bar, his other hand coming to rest high on Sirius’ thigh, and he squeezed. “I’ve heard rumours about you, you know.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asked in a near-whisper.

“That you like to…live on the edge. Spit in the face of authority and propriety. You like a bit of danger. Is that true?”

“Why?” Sirius asked carefully. “Are you dangerous?”

“I might be.” This was the moment of truth. He lifted the glass and pressed it to Sirius’ bottom lip. When his mouth opened, James tipped the rest of the scotch down, then set the glass on the table, putting his hand back to Sirius’ thigh. “I might be very dangerous.”

He carefully reached over and hiked up his sleeve. The inside of his wrist was pointed at the bar, but he twisted it just slightly, just enough for Sirius to see that curving S. The brand which would mark him for life. This was the moment of truth. Either Sirius would come with him and his plan would unfold, or the rumours were untrue and Sirius would have him arrested.

James held his breath as grey eyes took in the mark. They darkened, and Sirius’ lips parted again.

“You’re,” he whispered, letting his thumb run over the puckered flesh.

James had to bite back the desire to hit him. “I am, I’m afraid. Dangerous. Dark. Sympathiser. And I want you.”

Sirius snatched his hand away, then glanced round the bar. “No one knows?”

James stepped closer, locking Sirius’ knee between his legs, and he ground his hips forward. He was already hard, a bit from the thrill of it, and he willed his body to stay that way as Sirius could clearly tell, and he needed this. “Not a soul. No one here.”

Sirius groaned loudly, then reached out with thin fingers and grabbed the front of James’ shirt. “Toilets?”

James laughed. “I might be considered less than human, but I have standards, Sirius. But if you know how we can sneak away…I have a place. It’s not far.”

Sirius licked his lips, then reached out and cupped James’ erection, verifying for himself that it was real.

It was.

“Fuck. Okay. Fuck. There’s an emergency exit in the toilets.”

“And your guards?” James asked before licking a long stripe up the side of Sirius’ jaw.

“They won’t notice for a while. They’ll post up outside the door. Have you got a quick way to yours?” Sirius had his hands clutched round James’ ribs now, holding him tight.

James nodded, then let his lips descend onto Sirius’. Their tongues met, and James gave it everything he had. Needy, wanton, a groan escaping from deep in his chest. He let his hand come up to cup Sirius’ cheek, this thumb drawing just under Sirius’ bottom lip as he dragged himself away. “Come home with me?”

Sirius let out a harsh breath, his eyes nearly all pupil and he nodded. He was hooked. And James was very nearly in the clear. His hand trailed down, and their fingers twinned together as they rose from the bar and started down the corridor. James noticed three large, gruff men follow, and he heard their footsteps as the door slammed shut, and Sirius flicked the lock.

“Where?” James hissed.

Sirius dragged him to the far wall where there was a supply cupboard, but when he flung it open, there was alleyway. James blinked in disbelief. Surely it wasn’t this easy? Maybe Sirius was having on him, leading him into a trap.

A new, sick game for those in power.

But he had no choice other than to follow, to take Sirius’ hand in his and drag him down the street, keeping to the shadows as they found the bike still behind the bins. Sirius’ eyes went wide when he saw it, a hand reverently stroking along the seat.

“Scared?” James asked.

Sirius looked up with a wicked grin. “Not at all.”

James’ tongue drew over his lower lip. “I know a place in the woods. Off the grid. They won’t find you there, and we can…” He stopped, pulling Sirius in to speak right up against his lips, “Take our time. Let me devour you. Inch. By. Inch.”

Sirius moaned loudly, crashing their lips together bruising and needy for just a moment. James took the opportunity to let his fingers slide through Sirius’ clothes, into his pockets where he closed them round his mobile. He shoved Sirius against the wall hard, grinding their hips together, and he let out a low moan as he dropped the mobile just under the tire of the bike.

Pulling his head back, looking dazed, Sirius asked, “What was that?”

James shrugged. “Dunno. But we better go before they come looking. I want you, Sirius. Like I have never wanted anything.”

Sirius swallowed, then gave James a shove toward the bike and within minutes, they were speeding out of town. James kept glancing behind him, waiting for something—the cavalry, the rescue. But none came. He couldn’t begin to wonder how often Sirius locked himself inside a pub toilet for hours, being torn apart by people he thought were dangerous.

The lowlifes.

The barely human.

James kept careful control over his anger as he turned the bike into the woods, going so deep they had to stop. “We park here,” he said in a voice devoid of all lust. “It’s a short walk.”

Sirius now started to look insecure as he glanced round. “Er. Where, exactly?”

James turned, giving him a grin before he raised a fist. “Actually, that’s not really your problem anymore now, is it?”

“What…” was the last thing Sirius got out before James’ fist descended, and Sirius’ body crumpled to the ground. Taking a moment to hide the bike, James then hoisted the body over his shoulder. Dawn would be approaching soon, and he had work to do.

Phase one was nearly complete, but now he had the real war ahead of himself.

If it worked out though, Remus would be free, and in the end, that’s all that mattered.


	3. The Heir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short, but I plan to update this really soon so the wait for the next bit won't be long.

There were many things Remus Lupin had learnt to take in stride. James had always been a bit of a wild card, predispositioned to pranks and wreaking havoc. Nearly every detention Remus ever earnt was at the tail-end of one of James’ mad ideas, and at first he was resentful—desperate to fit in and go unnoticed as being Inflicted his life was hard enough. By the end of their school career Remus was half-in love with James’ free spirit and desire to spit in the face of anything and everyone who defied him.

Remus had also learnt to take much in stride when the world around him began to crumble. When the Potters were forced to leave, when everything they knew was ripped away from them. When they’d gone from comfortable beds and food in their stomachs to begging for scraps and scrounging for a tiny cottage in the woods, praying no one would ever find them.

He hadn’t, however, assumed he would wake one afternoon coming off an Outbreak, to find a man in their lounge. Tied to a chair. And gagged.

James was sat on the sofa, his head dipped forward, hands over his face. He didn’t look up when Remus entered the room, but his shoulders tensed, telling Remus he was aware of his presence. Not entirely sure how to react, Remus circled the man, and realised he was both unconscious, and suffering a head wound. There was a streak of blood down the side of his face, and the way his head was slumped, it told Remus he’d been out quite a while.

“Am I to guess, or are you going to give me the whole story?” Remus asked.

James let out a high-pitched, almost hysterical laugh. Rising, he bypassed Remus, going straight for their small shelf where he kept a stash of smokes. Some were hand-rolled, some with filters. He pilfered them on jobs, and kept them for particularly tense moments.

Which apparently, this was one of them.

“I kidnapped him,” James said thickly, through a lungful of smoke. “I erm…well. I have a plan. Sort of.”

“You have a plan, sort of,” Remus echoed, scrubbing his face. His wrists still ached violently, healing slowly from the chains, and his fingers were weak from the repeated monthly damage to his tendons. It was just as well, he knew. The weaker his limbs were, the less damage he could inflict even in his monstrous state.

James, meanwhile, had his forehead pressed to the glass, letting the smoke seep from his mouth and nose like a dragon. He was laughing every few moments, his head shaking. When he pulled back, there was a bit of sweat on the window, meaning he was nervous.

As he rightfully should be, considering there was a man tied up in their lounge.

“James,” Remus said very quietly, “I think you ought to start from the beginning.”

Taking a huge pull of the smoke, James pushed back from the window, pacing a circle round the bound man. He dragged his free hand through his hair, and gave Remus a pleading look. “I can’t keep this up anymore, Moons. This…scavenging. This desperate way of living. I can’t keep feeding you bloody poison, and stabbing you through the wrists and ankles once a month. You’re going to die.”

“Everyone dies, Jamie,” Remus said. His eyes flickered back to the man, then to James once more. “Some just sooner than others.”

“Well it shouldn’t be you, damn it!” James shouted, letting his fist make hard contact with the wall. “You’ve bloody-well been through enough.”

“And yet,” Remus said carefully, “here I am. Dying. I’ve made my peace with it.”

“Well I haven’t,” James spat. He grabbed the man by the back of the hair, wrenching his head back to expose his face.

Remus found himself sucking in air involuntarily. Even with the gag tied round his mouth, Remus could see he was good looking. Painfully good looking. Sharp features, soft skin, like he’d been pampered his entire life. Much like James had once been.

“There is medication out there for you. Sanctuary,” James spat, “if we could get to it. Lily has…she’s…” He fell silent, his face twisted with pain at the mention of her, and the unspoken word neither of them could bring themselves to say just yet. “His family is responsible for this.”

“James,” Remus said slowly, terror creeping into his voice. “Is that…”

“Sirius Black,” James said, and let his head fall. “Sirius Black, heir to the Black Family Fortune, first born to Orion Black, who championed the laws now making your existence criminal. Pretty soon they’ll pass a law allowing people to shoot you on sight, Remus. I can’t…I can’t accept that you’re dying, that you won’t get through this, when there’s a bloody-shitting way out. When you don’t _have_ to live like this.”

Remus licked his lips, trying not to succumb to the fear that Orion Black’s son was tied up in their lounge. How? How had James got him here? He could have been tracked. He could have been followed. And what did he plan to do with him once he was here?

“You need to explain now, Jamie,” Remus said, his voice low. “From start to finish.”

James began to pace again, and then…he did. He told Remus of his plan. He would ransom Sirius to his family, for sanctuary and money to get out of the country, to get to Inflicted-Friendly islands where there was medication and jobs. Freedom to live without fear. He told Remus how he’d come up with the plan after learning about Sirius’ desire to flirt with danger. He’d gone into the club, tempted Sirius with the brand on his wrist, then coaxed him onto the bike.

When it was said and done, he’d knocked Sirius out and dragged him back to the cottage.

As James finished speaking, Remus noticed a shift in Sirius. He was still sat there, head lolled forward, but there was a tension he hadn’t been carrying before.

Sirius was awake.

“He can hear you,” Remus said mildly. “And I think after attempting to seduce him, you owe him a slight explanation.”

“I owe him nothing,” James spat. He walked round, kneeling in front of Sirius, then slapped him until grey, furious eyes opened. Remus was surprised Sirius didn’t attempt to speak, and met James’ eyes with such defiance, Remus had to wonder if Sirius had been in this position before.

It wouldn’t have been a surprise. Not with a father like Orion Black.

“I don’t know how much of that you heard,” James said, “but to be clear, you’re our prisoner. Whether or not you walk away from this alive depends on your full co-operation. And that of your family. Are we clear?”

Sirius didn’t answer. Didn’t react. Merely stared at James until the taller man stood up and moved away.

“Don’t untie him,” James ordered.

“Are you my captor as well?” Remus asked quietly.

“Remus, don’t,” James said, his tone now pleading. “This is the only way. I’ve…I can’t live like this anymore, and I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“You’re a fool,” Remus said. “Pass me one of the cigarettes.”

James hesitated, but then did, giving Remus one of the nicer, filtered ones. He flicked the lighter, then tossed it to the side as Remus took his first lungful of the slightly stale, tobacco. “Well we’ve always known that, yeah. What a fool I am.”

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How do you plan to send a ransom demand to the Blacks without letting them know where we are? They probably have people combing the area everywhere for him right now.”

“I’m counting on it,” James said. “I’ll wait until they’ve exhausted their resources. You know how hard this place is to find, and you know we can hide him if we need to. When they’ve given up, I’ll go into town for work, and begin.”

Remus glanced at Sirius who was staring straight ahead, but there was understanding in those eyes. He knew his life was in a precarious position. James was a desperate man, and desperate men were capable of nearly anything.

“You need to go to bed,” Remus told his brother after a few moments. “I’m going along with your mad idea because I’m going to die one way or another, and at least they’ll put me down without mercy if they find me. I won’t untie him though.”

James ran both hands into his hair, tugging on it before he rose. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Remus gave him a withering look. “You know I can take care of myself.”

James laughed, then leant down and pressed a kiss to Remus’ forehead. “You’ve driven me mad. It’s incurable.”

“Seems so,” Remus said dryly. Neither said anything else until James disappeared, and his bedroom door clicked shut.

When they were finally alone, Remus stood up and came to a crouch in front of Sirius. His legs shook with the pain in his ankles from the chains, but he held himself steady all the same. He met Sirius’ eyes, and shook his head.

“This isn’t going to end well. For either of us.”

At that, Sirius let out a snort, and Remus couldn’t help a smile. 

“I think I ought to take off the gag at least. You can scream yourself hoarse and no one will hear you out here. Not yet anyway. And you can bite me, but I’m Inflicted so it’s probably not worth the risk.” Remus didn’t miss the flinch on Sirius’ face, but the prisoner didn’t pull away as Remus reached behind him and undid James’ shoddy knot-work. Remus knew if Sirius tried hard enough, he could probably untie his bonds, but for now, he would leave them. He’d leave it all up to fate.

When the gag was removed, Sirius wriggled his jaw, but still said nothing, staring Remus down.

“Are you afraid of me?” Remus asked.

Sirius blinked at him, saying nothing.

“I have no intention of infecting or hurting you, if it’s any comfort. I’ve half a mind to let you go, but the other half wants to see if Jamie’s plan really can play out. Thing of it is, I don’t actually enjoy living like this. And I don’t want to die.”

There was the longest pause before Sirius said, his voice low and croaky, “None of us do. But it would be a wild adventure.”

Remus tilted his head to the side, then sat back on his haunches. “Not as wild as you’d think. I’ve been close enough.” He sighed, then stretched his legs out, close to Sirius’ boots. “Do you want something to eat?”

“No, but I’ve got to take a mad piss,” Sirius said. “I can wait, though.”

Remus shrugged. “It’ll have to. Until Jamie wakes up, at least. I’m still a bit weak.” He showed off the scabbing wounds on his wrists. “To keep me docile.”

Sirius flinched a bit, though Remus couldn’t tell if it was from disgust or pity—though Remus didn’t really prefer one over the other. They sat in silence a bit, and then Remus sighed and laid back with his arms behind his head.

“Did you know? When you saw Jamie, did you know he was going to do this?”

Sirius barked a low laugh. “I think so. I was…tired,” he said. “So tired. Being dragged from place to place. I just think your friend in there ought to have done his homework better.”

Remus lifted an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Because there’s no one following him. My bodyguards were instructed to give up if I didn’t come out of the toilet in half an hour. No one’s looking for me.”

Remus half-believed him, the utter sincerity in his voice. But he’d met really good liars in his past—he was one of them. So he wouldn’t drop his guard. “All the same, he’s going to take precautions.”

“Of course he is,” Sirius said. “Then he’ll learn the truth, that I’m worth nothing to those people. And what next? Kill me? I’m not worth saving, you know.”

Remus sighed. “I don’t believe you. You’re the public face of your family.”

Sirius snorted again, shaking his head. “Then neither of you really have paid any attention, have you? No one wants me. Now if you don’t mind, my head is pounding from being clobbered by that fucking brute back there, so I think I might just close my eyes for a while and hope there’s a bleed in my brain slowly killing me. I think it’ll be preferable to what your friend means to do when he finds out he’s completely fucked.”


	4. The Fallen Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next instalment. Some tropey stuff in there, and some trust building. Not that it's going to stay fluffy but there will be moments. And I don't think it's spoilers to tell you there is no major character death, and its Wolfstar, Jegulus, Endgame.

“I might not be in a position to make demands, but you can either take me to the toilet or be forced to clean me up later.”

Remus, who’d been staring off into the distance, startled. Sirius hadn’t said much for the better part of the hour, but his hoarse voice was drawing Remus back to reality. James showed no signs of waking, and Remus was still contemplating Sirius’ revelation.

He hadn’t offered more about his family, only that no one would coming looking for him, and Remus didn’t want to believe him. Didn’t want to. But didn’t seem to have much choice in the matter. Now, however, he was requesting the loo and prisoner he might be, but he was human.

Remus had half a mind to just untie him and let him figure things out on his own. They’d have to move, of course. Or Remus could just let the police come and end things. He was as tired as James was of living like an animal, but he didn’t view the Islands as sanctuary. They were a myth. A pipe dream. They had no proof Lily actually made it out. That she had lived.

Remus wouldn’t betray James, of course. Not like this. So he stood up and went to the chair, reaching for the bonds. “I hope you’re not overly shy,” Remus said quietly, “because I can’t completely untie you. And if you try to get the best of me, just know I’m stronger than I look. And I probably won’t hesitate to bite you.”

That was a lie.

Remus could bite him now and nothing would happen. Most likely, anyway. Inflicted were only contagious during an Outbreak—though the government didn’t want most people to know that. And there was still a small risk. Remus, having lived with this far too damn long, would never inflict this on anyone. 

But Sirius didn’t need to know that. And it was quiet plain in the new tension in Sirius’ shoulders, he was afraid. He might have been reckless, but he wasn’t suicidal.

“So be good, yeah?”

Sirius’ shoulders slumped. “It’s not like I’ve got somewhere to be, mate.”

Remus almost laughed, but refrained and instead busied himself detaching Sirius from the chair, but keeping his wrists bound. He carefully removed the knots and ropes from his feet, however, then eased him to a stand.

Sirius swayed a moment, leaning into Remus, then pulled back. “Sorry,” he muttered.

Remus shook his head. “Are you alright? Dizzy at all?”

“Well the concussion didn’t help,” Sirius said as they stumbled down the corridor to the toilet. “I think I’ll live, though. Much to your friend’s dismay. Or…boyfriend?”

Remus snorted. “Too much like a brother, really.” He pushed the door open, and flicked on the dim light. “Okay so I’ll need to…I mean…fuck this is a bit humiliating.”

“Well mate, you can either hold my cock, or you can let me make a mess and sort it out later,” Sirius offered.

Remus groaned, but decided cleaning up a bit of piss was probably going to offer Sirius a bit more humanity than anything else. So he fumbled with his prisoner’s zip and button, got his jeans and pants down to his knees, then backed up and turned away.

“You sure about this?” Sirius asked.

“I’ve cleaned up worse,” Remus said by way of reply. “I actually got into Uni for a bit, before the world went to hell.”

 

“Thanks to my family,” Sirius muttered.

Remus heard the sounds of the other man unleashing his bladder, and most of it sounded like it hit the water. When he was done, Remus did his best to keep his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall as he eased Sirius back into his clothes. The mess wasn’t bad, and Remus sorted it out, washed his hands, then got Sirius back to the lounge.

He stared at the chair for a moment, the nodded toward the sofa.

“Isn’t your mate going to kill you?” Sirius asked, all the while easing himself down onto a cushion that really wasn’t much more comfortable than the kitchen chair.

“He’s put his life at risk to kidnap you, so…I doubt he’ll go homicidal. And I can take his shouting.” Remus scrubbed his face, then sat in the arm chair and stared at him. “You seem fairly at ease with this whole mess. Honestly, have you been taken before?”

Sirius snorted. “No. But it’s not my first time being tied up.”

Remus’ cheeks reddened, but he didn’t react more than that. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say. His British manners were screaming to offer the man a cup of tea, but it was pointless with him tied, and Remus honestly wanted James to wake up so he could hear Sirius’ explanation for himself.

“What will your family do if you escape and get back to them?”

Sirius regarded him for a long time. “Same as they’ve always done, really. Lock me up for a while until they feel I’ve sufficiently learnt my lesson, then do their best to ignore me as I do my part to drag their name into the mud.”

Remus blinked. There was such utter sincerity and truth to his words. “I…” But he didn’t know what to say.

Sirius looked at him for a long while, then sighed. “You look different now. Than you did at school, I mean.”

Remus startled, blinking at him. “You remember?”

Sirius barked a laugh. “You mean the Inflicted kid? Yeah, Lupin. I remember. You and Potter both. Knew he was a sympathiser long before he showed me his brand.”

Remus swallowed. “So you knew when he…”

“I was fairly sure. When he showed me his wrist I knew it had to be him.” Sirius gave a half-shrug. “Didn’t think someone like him would remember me. Too caught up in his own big head and following round that redhead to ever notice…”

“The prince of Slytherin?” Remus offered. He wasn’t about to say that long ago, in the deep recesses of his mind, was a school-boy fancy he’d never had the courage to mention to anyone. Sirius had been…he’d been everything. Practically royalty, and he wore it well. He was always dressed sharply, his hair falling elegantly over one eye, his laugh infectious. He gave James and Remus a run for their money by way of pranks and mischief, and Remus had always wondered what it would have been like, had Sirius been put in their dorms.

Of course he was Aristocratic blood, and wouldn’t have been allowed to fraternise with the likes of the Inflicted boy. Most people didn’t know—but he’d suffered Outbreaks enough to cause some suspicion amongst the students.

“So you knew then. About me?” Remus asked quietly.

“Saw Pomfrey taking you out to the Shack one night. You were showing all the symptoms. Later Slughorn was talking about some experimental medication he was working on in Chem. For you. I put two and two together.” Sirius gave a lazy shrug.

“Did you ever tell anyone?”

“Nah. Sort of liked having it all to myself. Snape worked it out. Which you know.”

Remus’ expression darkened, not really willing to think about his last years there when it had gone to hell. A bit of a preview—for a short while—of what life was going to be like. If only he’d known it then. He let out a breath. “I think I ought to wake James. If what you say is true well…”

“He’s not going to believe me,” Sirius said. “But you might as well try. I get what he wants. To get you two the hell out of here. If I had access to my funds, I’d just offer them straight over.”

Remus blinked. “But you don’t.”

Sirius winced. “It’s…complicated. And frankly not really your business.”

“Wouldn’t it be, if it meant James letting you loose?”

Sirius shrugged, but didn’t offer a response and went silent long enough for Remus to get up.

It was a risk, leaving him on the sofa, but it was also a test. Remus had the distinct impression Sirius wanted to stay. For whatever reason, though he wasn’t sure yet. It wasn’t about getting them caught though. And Sirius wasn’t clever enough to hide his complete intentions. But he was clearly used to being secretive and that worked in his favour. 

So what would he do if Remus walked away.

Pushing the door open to James’ room, Remus found him stripped down to his boxers, one arm thrown over his eyes, mouth open with a light snore. He was a light sleeper now, and all it took was for Remus to step into the room and give his calf a pat, and he was sitting bolt upright, eyes wide.

“What is it? Moony?”

“Yeah. You should probably get up.”

James scrambled for his jogging bottoms and glasses as Remus took a step back toward the door. “Is he…he hasn’t…did he hurt you?”

Remus laughed quietly. “No. He’s on the sofa.”

“What?” James bellowed. “What do you mean he’s on the sofa!”

“He needed a piss, so I untied him, and it seemed rather pointless to put him back in the chair,” Remus replied mildly.

James wasn’t listening, however, scrambling past Remus and growling low in his throat. As Remus strolled into the lounge, he watched as James ripped Sirius from the sofa and threw him into the chair.

“Think your clever, do you? Think he’s soft? That he’ll go easy on you?”

Sirius winced at the pain, but his expression didn’t fall as James wrenched his arms back and tied him back to the chair. Sirius’ grey eyes flickered over to Remus who didn’t respond, but he didn’t look away, either.

“I think that’s quite enough,” Remus said after a moment.

“Enough?” James hissed, rounding on Remus. “You left him on the sofa.”

“And he was there when you came out,” Remus said quietly. “What do you think he’s going to do?”

“Run off and send the authorities after us,” James accused, pointing a finger at Sirius’ face. “He’d being kind so we drop our guard.”

“Maybe.” Remus sighed and sat down. “He’s still a person, though. Who needs to piss and bathe and eat.”

James’ face went dark. “Is he? You think he deserves it? What do you think his family would do to you, if they had you in their home?”

Remus looked away. “It doesn’t matter, James. We don’t need to be like them.”

“It’s the only way we’re going to get out of this mess,” James growled. “We’re not going to change the world, Moony. No one’s going to listen to us. We need to save ourselves.”

“No one’s stopping you from going,” Remus reminded him.

“This isn’t about me!” James bellowed, punching his fist into his hand. “Bloody hell, Remus! Why can’t you have even a little drive to save your own arse?”

Remus sighed and leant his head against the cushion. He was profoundly aware of Sirius watching him, but he didn’t look over. “I’m tired, Jamie. I’m so tired and maybe I just don’t have any fight left in me.”

James stopped his pacing, then his shoulders deflated. “Years ago I promised that when you ran out of strength, I’d carry the both of us. I haven’t forgotten that. And I’m getting us out of here. Now leave him where he is.” With that, James stormed outside, letting the door slam on his way out.

Remus lifted his head and looked over at Sirius. “I’ll get you fed later.”

“Not really fussed about it,” Sirius said, shrugging as best he could with the bonds as tight as James had made them. “Don’t think I could stomach much right now what with being kidnapped and threatened and all.”

Remus sighed, then rose. “I think I’ll go and calm him down.” He stared for the door, but turned. “You’re going to stay, aren’t you.” It wasn’t really a question at all. “If we untie you and let it all go, you’re going to stay.”

Sirius laughed, but didn’t offer an answer. Remus didn’t really need one though. He had Sirius partially figured out already, and he just needed to uncover the rest.

*** 

James eventually did relax, not enough to untie Sirius straight away, but he listened to Remus and eventually calmed down, and Remus told James everything their prisoner had admitted so far. James seemed frustrated, and unwilling to believe the Black heir. 

“I just…I need this to work, Moons,” James said as they sat with their back to the cottage door. “I can’t carry on any longer.”

Remus reached out, taking James’ hand. “I know. And I want to…I want to have the drive you do. But what if there’s nothing out there for me. We don’t even know how real it is. We don’t know if anyone really got away.”

James winced, then shook his head. “My parents…I have to believe they did.”

Remus sighed. “I dunno if Sirius is the way to this, Jamie. I think he might be telling me the truth.”

“I need to find out for myself,” James said. “I can…I can go back into the city. I still have a few contacts.”

“It’s dangerous if they really are looking for him. Someone’ll recognise you from the club.”

James shrugged. “The danger’s worth it, you know.”

“Dunno how true that is. If you don’t come back, what do I do then?”

“Failsafe,” James said. “Let Sirius go and…you know.”

Remus winced, but nodded. The failsafe. Once or twice he thought about using it simply to make it all go away. “It’s up to you. But I think we ought to untie him. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

“And I think that’s fucking mad,” James spat. “He’s using you. You’re too…you’re too human, Moony. Out of all of us.”

Remus laughed. “Maybe I am, but I trust my intuition. He has an ulterior motive, I’m sure of it. But that motive involves us trusting him and I’d like to find out what he’s got planned.”

James looked hesitant. “I’m going into the city to see about his claim. You do what you want, but don’t hesitate to take him out if you need to.” James turned, cupping Remus’ cheeks gently. “You’re more important than he is.”

Remus closed his eyes, leaning into the touch and taking a bare comfort from it. “So are you.”

James shook his head. “You’re better than all of us, Moons. You haven’t lost your humanity through all of this. I don’t suffer the way you do and look at me.” James dropped his hands and stared at them. “I’m so fucking broken.”

Remus tugged him in for an embrace, pressing a fierce kiss to James’ forhead. “You’re not broken. I love you.”

James laughed darkly. “I love you too, Remus.”

*** 

Remus was vaguely surprised when James offered to be the one to untie Sirius before he left. He paced, giving his speech about how Remus was more dangerous than he looked, and if he came back to find one hair on Remus’ head out of place, Sirius would regret the day he was ever born.

Then he cut the ropes, and stood back, as though waiting for Sirius to attack.

But the heir didn’t even leave his chair. Didn’t do much save for rub at the harsh rope burns marring his skin. James eventually went into the other room to pack his things, and Remus sat on the sofa, watching carefully.

“Got any of your own?” Sirius asked quietly after some time.

“Hmm?” Remus raised a brow.

“Death threats, dismemberment. The usual.”

Remus laughed quietly. “I think my existence is enough of a threat, I don’t need to bother.”

James came out after that, kissing Remus on the head, then a pointed look at Sirius before he was out the door and gone. When the door slammed and James’ body disappeared into the wood, Sirius let out a breath.

“He’s really leaving? Me untied? You alone here?”

“I can take care of myself,” Remus said, repeating his earlier words.

Sirius shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“I’ve got tea if you fancy a cuppa.” Another test. Sirius was completely unbound, and Remus was turning his back.

He went into the kitchen, filling the kettle, and he lit the burner, letting it boil slowly. Their home-grown tea wasn’t nearly as good as they’d once had, but it would do the trick. He filled two cups, brewing it rich and dark, and came back into the lounge.

Sirius had nicked a cigarette and was now stood by the window, but it was the most he’d moved, and he didn’t seem tense. Remus was certain, right then, he wasn’t going to run.

When Remus handed off the tea, Sirius tipped the mug toward him, and spoke through thick smoke. “Ta, mate.”

Remus eased down into a chair, feeling the ache in his bones but knowing another Outbreak was far off. At least so long as he could keep his stress under control. He had some meds, and he knew he ought to take them, as sick as they made him feel. He didn’t want to risk exposing Sirius, not until he knew what the heir was up to.

“You alright?” Sirius asked. “You seem pale.”

“Scared?”

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, actually. No offense, but I’ve never actually been round an Infected person before. Besides you at school, but even the I felt more protected than I do right now.”

“Well I’ve just had an Outbreak, so you’ll be safe for a while. And I’ve got suppressants.”

Sirius’ eyebrows went up and he stubbed the cigarette out on the window sill before he eased himself back onto the sofa. “Where’s you get your hands on those?”

“Black market,” Remus said, then sipped his tea as Sirius spluttered.

“But those are…poison, aren’t they? The news was showing…” He stopped and swallowed. “There were the…the compounds. Over in France and Germany of the Infected. They were dying. There were pits of their bodies burning because those meds…they were…”

“They kill you eventually,” Remus said mildly. “But they work. Mostly.”

Sirius looked pained, his eyes flashing with something akin to concern or pity. “What do I do if you…if there’s…”

“If I have an Outbreak?” Remus asked. He let out a sigh, then stood up and beckoned Sirius along to the back bedroom.

It didn’t smell great. Neither of them had sorted it out since the night he’d been locked down, but the window was open and it wasn’t unbearable. Sirius hesitated as he followed Remus in, his expression unreadable as Remus leant down to pick up one of the cuffs. He twisted it so Sirius could see the long, sharp spikes imbedded on the insides.

“Jamie made these,” Remus said quietly. He let it fall to the mattress with a dull thud, then lifted his sleeve to show the fresh scabs. “Spikes go into the tendons, prevents me from being able to move my fingers or toes. Keeps me from being able to pry the cuffs off.”

Sirius reached out, as though moving involuntarily, and he took Remus’ wrist in the palm of his hand. His thumb moved over the wounds, a hesitant touch, but braver than Remus might have been were their positions reversed. “Every time?” he whispered.

Remus nodded, and felt Sirius’ hands tighten on him. “Every time. It’s the only way to keep safe.”

“How do you stand it?” Sirius asked. He should have let go by now, but he hadn’t. “Remus how do you…was it like that in school?”

Remus let out a dark laugh. “Perhaps not this bad. I was smaller back then. Weaker. The experimental drugs that Slughorn was working on helped me keep my mind a bit more than I can now. But you know the Shrieking Shack wasn’t haunted.”

Sirius swallowed thickly, then let his hands drop away. “I know. I know it wasn’t. I just…I never gave it much thought.”

“Why would you?” Remus asked honestly. “It didn’t affect you.”

“Didn’t affect James either,” Sirius countered. “But here he is, all this time. He could have renounced you, left you, saved himself.”

“He could have,” Remus said. “But he didn’t. And he fell in love with Evans. She was one of the…you know.”

Sirius’ face paled a bit and he nodded. “Right. Yeah. Heard she got out, didn’t she?”

Remus sighed, not wanting to talk about Lily right then. Or the fact that when she’d escaped, she’d been pregnant with James’ baby. He could still hear her screaming at James to come, to leave Remus behind. To put her and the unborn child first.

But James wouldn’t go. Remus called him a fool. Didn’t speak to him for weeks after, but in the end he realised it was James’ decision and some day he might get back to her. There was no chance of love between them now, but he deserved to know that baby. Assuming it survived.

Her bloodline carried blood from the Infected, as it were.

And everyone had known.

She’d been one of the lucky ones, fleeing before the borders had all closed to everyone but those with money. Fleeing before all work had been cut off from those who so desperately needed it.

Remus tried not to be bitter, but it was hard sometimes.

“Come on,” he said quietly, putting his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. He was impressed when Sirius didn’t flinch away from his touch. “There’s food in the kitchen and you really ought to keep up your strength.”

“Why? So I can overtake you in the night? Stash your body, and send the authorities after James?”

Remus laughed quietly as they moved into the kitchen, and he pulled out what was left of the soup. It would be enough for the both of them, and there was still some bread which had not moulded. “If you planned that, it would be done already. What I want to know is…what do you hope to get out of this.”

Sirius didn’t answer, but didn’t meet his gaze either, telling Remus there was something. He just needed to gain his trust.

“Tomorrow we can go hunt. Have you hunted before?”

Sirius scoffed. “Fox hunts, long before they were outlawed.”

“There’s deer here. Jamie hates it, fancies himself in tune with the wildlife. Especially the stags. But sometimes we don’t have a choice if we want to eat.”

“People are afraid of the Infected passing it on to animals.”

“We can’t,” Remus said softly. “But it’s another way to keep the public afraid. Do you believe me?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. He put his hands over his face and let out a shuddering sigh. “I don’t want to die, you know? That’s not why I’m here. But I think when James returns knowing what I know, he’s going to kill me. I’m no use to you, and there’s no point in another mouth to feed.”

Remus turned slowly, the bowls mostly full, slices of bread on the side. He slid Sirius’ over to him, and met his gaze carefully. “I won’t let him kill you.”

“You’re stupid, then. But thank you.” He offered Remus a weak smile, which was returned with a sunnier, gentler one.

“You’re not worthless,” Remus continued. “If you want to just tell me what you want, I might be able to help you.”

Sirius sighed, staring down at the soup as he stirred it with his spoon. He took a bite and grimaced, clearly used to more posh fare, but he didn’t turn his nose up at it, either. “I want to get out. Just like you two. I want to escape. And I need help getting out.”

“You have more of a plan than piggybacking on ours, don’t you?” Remus asked.

Sirius sighed. “Yes, I do.”

“But you’re not ready to tell?”

Sirius shook his head. “Not yet.”

Remus decided to let it be, and together they finished their meal in silence.

*** 

When night fell, Sirius was watching out the window for James, but he hadn’t returned. Remus came up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He won’t be back tonight. Not until late tomorrow, or the next day. It’s a long journey and his contacts take a while to get with him.”

Sirius turned slowly. “Alright. You probably want to keep an eye on me, don’t you? I can bunk down on the floor.”

Remus felt a stab of pity for this man, knowing that whatever it was he needed, it was as much of a desperation as Remus felt. Or James. He let his hand slide down and took Sirius’ fingers gently in his. “Come on. There’s no point not sharing our heat. I have to shut down the electricity. It’s all stolen.”

Sirius let out a tiny laugh as he followed Remus outside to switch everything off. Everything was dark, lit only by the moon as they crept back into the cottage, and into the back bedroom which smelt of Remus, and James, and the long years they’d been hiding out.

Remus pulled back the duvet as Sirius shimmied out of his trousers, keeping his shirt on, but his pale legs stuck out of the boxers and almost glowed against the light coming in through the window. Remus tried not to stare as he adjusted his pillow, giving Sirius enough space on the mattress.

Sirius slid down after a moment of hesitation, and took what he assumed was James’ pillow and pulled the duvet up to his waist. “Will James kill me for being in here with you?”

“Contrary to your belief,” Remus said softly as he stared at Sirius’ profile, “James and I are not lovers. I do fancy men, but he’s family.”

Sirius let out a breath, then turned to face Remus. “I’m not scared of you.”

“Then you’re a fool,” Remus replied quietly.

Sirius laughed softly and pushed his head forward so it rested against Remus’ shoulder. “Yeah. I’ve heard that a lot in my life.”

As though unable to stop himself, Remus let his hand come up and run into Sirius’ hair. It was a soft as he imagined, not stopping even as Sirius pushed his face harder against Remus and made a quiet noise of contentment.

“It’s been a long time since someone touched me without wanting something from me,” he said quietly. “Feels nice.”

Remus hummed quietly, then shifted so he was holding Sirius gently, his head tilted forward so his chin rested against the back of Sirius’ head. “It’s been a long time since someone touched me at all who wasn’t James. Willingly, anyway. After I became Infected, my parents wouldn’t hug me. Even people at school who were tolerant didn’t want to…take the risk. So I suppose in a way, I know what you mean.”

Sirius took a breath and tightened his hold on Remus. “I always liked you, you know. Always wanted to know you, but James hated me. Never wanted to cross him, and you were always off limits. But you were so clever, and so fit.”

Remus laughed. “Your memory is selective.”

“S’not. But…” Sirius breathed and sounded very sleepy. “If this is all I get, if James murders me tomorrow when he gets back, I’m glad I went out like this. Thanks.”

Remus closed his eyes and allowed himself, for just a moment, to believe he was normal. He wasn’t outcasted from society. That the man in his bed was there willingly and happily, and he had a long future ahead of him.

Tomorrow he’d have to face reality, but tonight he’d allow himself to just have this.


	5. Venison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in this chapter for mentions of prostitution and dark thoughts.

James’ fingers dragged through the thin, wispy blonde locks. His short, blunt nails scraped the pink scalp and he let his fingers grasp at it, pulling the head back hard. Gilderoy’s mouth stretched, lips thinning over his plastic, too-bright smile, and he shifted his hips backward into James’ crotch.

“Fuck,” he groaned, even his moans tinged with a bit of his nasal whinge. “Fuck, right there.”

James closed his eyes, blessing the pills that kept him hard so he could do this. His hips snapped, forward and backward, in a rhythm he knew the other man liked best, and his hand came up round his torso, stopping at Gil’s throat. He applied just enough pressure to make his cheeks turn pink, and then he was coming hot, a hoarse shot as he spilt on the bed without being touched.

James pulled out quickly, grabbing a towel to mop himself up of the lube as Gildeory laughed, throwing himself forward without bothering with the mess. He stretched his arms above his head, then let one flop down, patting the mattress beside him.

James fought back a grimace as he lowered himself down, and bat one of Gil’s wandering hands away.

“You’re still fucking hard.”

“Yeah,” James grunted, and didn’t bother to mention he took for of the blasted things to make sure he had enough stamina to last the night. He needed the information.

His work as a prostitute was few and far between. He had enough to worry about with Remus that he couldn’t take a risk getting something else for them to deal with. So his client list was small. But James had perfected his technique over the years, and he was coveted. His clients were loyal, paid in cash and food—and most importantly, in information. They were all influential, all desperate to flirt with the dark side, as was proof now as Gilderoy was slowly running his tongue over the puckered S branded into his wrist.

James let him carry on, but eventually glanced at the small, digital clock on the nightstand. “Nearly midnight.”

Gilderoy let out a withering sigh. “Always such a stickler for the time.”

“More like a stickler for you making it out of here without getting caught. Your wife finds out, and that ends our little…” He paused, running the tips of his fingers down the centre of Gil’s chest. “Arrangement.” Pausing at his nipple, he gave it a swipe, and Gil let out a shuddering breath. His limp dick twitched, but showed no signs of revival, much to James’ relief.

With the Black Heir at theirs, and Moony under a stress James wasn’t sure he could take, he didn’t want to waste much more time, and it had already been two days.

He had food, enough to restock the cabinets for a while, and it would all fit into the storage of his bike. He had cash stuffed in the pocket of his jeans, and a carton of cigs in his jacket. Now he just needed one thing.

“Heard that Orion Black’s son went missing.”

Gil blinked sleepily, then threw his head back and laughed. “What’s new? That fucking ponce is always doing something fucking stupid. Last year he turned up in Paris with his dick in some pool-boy.”

James grit his teeth. “So no one’s looking.”

“No one cares.” Gil turned, slapping James’ cheek lightly before pulling in him to a long, languid kiss. He hummed, then slid down. “Why do you ask?”

“Thought I might have a look for him. If there’s reward money,” James said as Gilderoy finally slid off the bed. “A substantial amount, anyway. Otherwise, not worth my time.”

“Well neither is that shithead,” Gilderoy said, wriggling into his pants. He grabbed his trousers from the chair, but didn’t put them on, lighting up a smoke instead. “Worth anything, anyway. You know he was at school with us.”

James snorted. “I remember. Him and that brother of his.”

“Hmm yeah, brother of his,” Gil said through a lungful of smoke. “Pity, that. Sirius gets himself disinherited, only to lose the spare.”

James froze, desperately trying to control his emotions. “What?”

Gil sucked on the fag for another moment. “Surely you’ve heard. Though I reckon maybe not what with you being a Sympathiser and all…” He winked at James, and when there was no reaction, he sighed. “Sirius got caught up in some plot to sneak out Infected, got himself thrown out. But some bloke decided to get revenge on the family and killed Regulus.”

James felt his throat tighten. “I…didn’t know that. I didn’t know them well so it never really mattered.”

“Well there were rumours Reg didn’t actually die—that he was infected and being kept under wraps—but that’s likely a load of bollocks. Orion had no love for his children, he’d put one down like a rabid dog if one became like them.”

James felt a vein in his temple throb. “Right. No surprise there.” 

Gil barked a laugh as he stubbed out the smoke, then dropped it into a half-gone bottle of beer. He began to wriggle into his trousers, then stepped in front of the mirror by the telly to sort out his hair. “Well of course they had to take Sirius back in, but he was still disinherited. Under the direction to obey, lest he lose everything. Course he toes that line, and Orion’s already prepping one of his cousin’s kids to take over.”

James’ brow furrowed. “Narcissa?” She was the only one either not a traitor or completely mad. Bellatrix had been shipped off somewhere just after her marriage fell apart, and that was just before James’ family had been exiled. 

“Married that ponce, Lucius. Have a kid. That’s the rumour anyway, but you know me. I try to keep my nose in celebrity gossip. Don’t much give a sod about the fucking MPs.” He crossed the room and wrapped his hand round the back of James’ neck, drawing him in for a last kiss. He hummed greedily, then tilted his head to the side. “Wouldn’t bother with that Black. Orion doesn’t care a whit about him. Likely he’d just turn you in if you tried to collect, and if Sirius knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay gone.” Gil pressed a few more notes into James’ hand. “À bientôt. Try to clear out of here in twenty, alright?”

“Not a problem,” James said. He hadn’t planned on leaving the city yet. He had a couple more informants to visit, and with the extra quid, it might save his dick a bit of work, and get him home quicker. If what Gilderoy was saying was true, Sirius was nothing more than a worthless liability.

But Regulus…that threw him. He had no idea, and something about the death didn’t seem right. He wanted more answers, and he intended on getting them.

*** 

Remus almost laughed at the sweat pouring off Sirius’ brow. They were behind the cottage, both equipped with knives not nearly sharp enough, bloody up to their elbows, and surrounded by the less-than-pleasant smell of deer guts.

They hadn’t been able to track down a stag, but the doe had appeared and she was an easy target. Sirius had bigged up his bow skills until faced with her, and got a shot, but in the leg. Remus winced, and then fired off the killing shot, turning to Sirius with furrowed brows.

“Did you do that on purpose?” he demanded.

Sirius swiped his brow. “What? Hit her with the arrow? Yeah I did.”

“You got her in the leg. She was wounded. Always go for the kill, Sirius.”

“I didn’t…”

“We don’t let them suffer,” Remus went on. “Do you understand that? We don’t let them suffer.” Part of him knew Sirius could tell he was speaking about himself, and James. Part of him knew Sirius heard the words for what they were.

James should have let him die off years ago. Saved them both the heartache and the trouble. James would have been with Lily and the baby, and Remus would be spared this monthly pain. He had so little to live for, what was the point?

He was doing it for James though, because he wouldn’t let his brother’s sacrifice of everything he’d ever held dear, be in vain.

He only hoped he would have the continued strength to let it go.

“Come on, we need to gut her and portion her out. James and I have enough to preserve most of the meat for later, and we can have fresh steaks tonight.”

It had been vaguely amusing to watch Sirius’ face go from vague interest to absolute disgust when he realised exactly what they had to do.

“You’re not afraid, are you?” Remus challenged, holding out one of the knives.

Sirius gripped the hilt, and jutted out his chin. “Of course not.”

The first cut was the worst, and Sirius went nearly grey in the face when the blood drained. It wasn’t Remus’ favourite thing to do—taking a life. He spent enough of the short years he’d lived so far feeling like a monster, and there were moments even when he was human that he felt like it.

Covered in deer blood and gutting organs was one of those moments. But it was for the greater good, and his desire for fresh meat overrode any qualms he had with this whole process. And distracting himself by watching the poncy, posh Sirius Black skinning the animal was enough.

“So what do we do next?” Sirius asked, swiping his hand across his forehead and smearing blood there.

Remus shrugged. “We’ll prep the meats to be salted and tried,” he nodded to the tiny shed a few feet off, “and the rest can go in the fridge until tonight.”

“And the rest of the body?”

“James likes to keep the skins, so we’ll hang it up and he can deal with it when he gets back. The rest we’ll burn tonight.” 

After that, Remus showed Sirius how to prep the meat and before they were done, Sirius had lost that scared look, and was doing a decent job.

“Keep it up, and you’ll make it out here,” Remus said as he shut the meat away.

Sirius snorted, his head shaking. “Assuming James doesn’t murder me.”

Remus bit his lip, wanting to ask, but decided for now it was best they enjoy the afternoon. “Let’s go for a swim in the river. Easier to clean the blood off and it means we won’t have to clean house or listen to James bitch if we get blood inside.”

Sirius looked like he was going to protest, but Remus’ fingers—stiff and sticky with blood—curled round his and tugged him along. They trudged through the path, through a clearing of trees to the river bank. 

“It’s only waist deep in the middle,” Remus said, and began to strip. He’d long since lost any sense of modesty. When at five he became a slavering, near rabid beast being poked and prodded and studied—when James had seem him slobbering and soiling himself and attempting to bite his own arms off—well nudity just didn’t matter much anymore.

Sirius seemed a bit more reluctant, but eventually stripped down, covering his bits with his hand until he waded into the water after Remus. He didn’t meet Remus’ eyes, and it made Remus smile as he dipped low, letting the rocks at the bottom massage his sore feet. The water was cold, but it was soothing on his aching muscles, and he sat, letting the current gently ease against him.

He gave his hands a good scrub together, watching the red melt off, floating away. Cleansing. Nothing was permanent, and death was for everyone.

When he looked up, he caught Sirius watching him with a curious look in his eye. “How long have you two been doing this?”

Remus shrugged, leaning back to dip his curls into the water, and when he came up, the corkscrew tendrils fell against his forehead, dripping down his nose. “Years. We were twenty when Jamie’s parents were exiled and he was arrested. He was given the opportunity to turn me in for a reward. He refused, and he was branded and his accounts were frozen. He’s got millions of pounds rotting away in Gringott’s, unable to touch it after the Ministry passed the law against Sympathisers.”

Sirius’ jaw tightened, and he looked away. “Bastards.”

“Not all of them,” Remus said tiredly. He stood up, wading over, and dipped his hand into the water. He poured a bit over Sirius’ back, eliciting a gasp from the other man as he began to scrub at a stubborn bit of red. “They’re afraid. It’s happened before in history, you know. It happens all over, all the time. People fear what they don’t understand. And all it takes is one man or woman to remind the public it could happen to them. They’ll band together. It’s human nature.”

“It’s rubbish,” Sirius spat, turning. Seemingly without thinking, he grabbed Remus by the shoulders and held him tight, almost furious. “You were so quiet, so kind,” he said, his voice strained. “Kinder than anyone I’d ever known. If I had…if…” He stopped, shaking his head. “I wasted years being afraid of everything. And now look at me.”

Remus reached up, his thumb brushing a dried blood stain from the side of Sirius’ nose, and he cocked his head to the side, a smile playing at his lips. “Now look at you. Rugged, alone, outcast. Just like us. How does it feel, Sirius?”

Suddenly the anger and frustration melted from his face, and he threw his head back and laughed. “I’m naked in a fucking river, Remus. After having gutted a deer. It feels fucking great. I feel free.” He threw his arms back and let himself fall back into the water.

Remus felt a warmth blossoming in his chest, almost violent with a joy he hadn’t experienced in years. How long had it been since anything let him feel free? How long since he’d had any sort of hope.

When Sirius came up, his hair was plastered to the sides of his face, the sunlight glinting off the drops, and he rushed at Remus, taking him by the face. “Thank you.”

Remus reached up, squeezing his wrist, and he offered the gentlest smile he could muster. “Don’t thank me yet. We have work to do, and James will be home soon. You’ll have to come clean eventually.”

Sirius deflated at that, letting his hands drop from Remus’ face, but Remus’ fingers lingered on his skin. “I know. I…tonight. We can talk tonight.”

Remus nodded, then led the way out of the water and back to the cottage without bothering to change. They left their clothes outside in the laundry pile, and Sirius was first to rummage through Remus’ clothes for something to wear as Remus set the venison aside for their supper.

Sirius looked tired, so Remus offered him the sofa as he went to see what he could harvest from their small garden. He knew there would be potatoes ready, and maybe a few tomatoes that wouldn’t be too underripe.

When he came back, Sirius had dropped off, mouth slightly open, eyes moving in his dreams. The moment felt so domestic. Like they’d fallen in love, bought a little cottage in the middle of nowhere and lived happily. There was no vicious world out there waiting for them. No chains, no beasts. It was just the pair of them, and it was a glimpse into a future which had always been denied Remus.

Once upon a tie the Potters had let him dream. Of a world where his status didn’t matter. Where someone might love him regardless that he was an Infected. That the world wouldn’t look upon him with disgust and hatred and abject fear.

That they’d see him for his kindness.

He had so little left of it now, though. So little, and the bitterness was clawing its way up his throat.

Dropping the food on the table, Remus moved to the side of the sofa and let his fingers trail around Sirius’ now-drying hair. Down his cheek. Sirius didn’t wake, just muttered and leant further into Remus’ hand. He seemed lonely, touch starved, so much like Remus in spite of coming from a different world.

Remus’ hand trailed lower, to his throat, and he applied just a little bit of pressure. He could end it all then. Sirius’ pain. His own. He could make it all stop and maybe there would be some sort of afterlife waiting for them without all of…all of this.

Sirius shifted again, pressing hard against Remus’ hand, and he moved it back up to cup his cheek. Maybe there was more to all of this. James’ plan was faulty, Remus knew that. There was no hope of blackmailing Sirius’ family into getting them out of the country.

But he knew Sirius had a plan, and if Remus played his cards right, it might benefit all of them. And after all, that was the whole point, wasn’t it?

With a sigh, Remus turned back to the kitchen to prepare their meal, and pretend for another day that all was well.


	6. The Truth

With a heavy sigh, Remus stared down at the pills at the bottom of the small bottle. The label had long-since been peeled away, but once upon a time it contained his name, his ID number—the very same burnt into the back of his neck, just below his hairline—and a host of proper medication that didn’t make him want to claw his way out of his skin.

Now sat dodgy, light brown pills that were crumbling, but he knew what he had to do. If they were going to get through this, he’d have to keep up on his meds. What little they did would help enough. It would—potentially—postpone his outbreak long enough to get Sirius to trust him, to confide in him. It would keep Remus out of chains long enough to save Sirius from whatever James intended.

He took one into his palm, said a small prayer to gods he knew weren’t listening, and he tipped it down. The water from the spout came out vaguely brown for a moment, and he let it clear before dipping his head, helping the chalky pill go down. With a grimace, he closed his eyes and shuddered.

It would take effect in forty minutes, where he’d spike a fever, and the toilet would become his hours’ long lover. He only hoped he could keep from crying, keep Sirius from seeing the worst of it. He wanted to be trusted, not vulnerable.

Closing his eyes, he breathed in, breathed out, breathed in. He wondered—not for the first time in his life—what he’d done to deserve this. He knew the specifics of his infection. His father working for a man who wanted to eradicate all traces of the Infected to protect the citizens. The only way to stop the spread of the disease, they preached.

Fenrir Greyback did not appreciate Lyall Lupin’s position on things, and he meant to teach him a lesson.

“I have no intention of killing the boy,” Fenrir said long after he’d given the infected bite. He grimaced, teeth like a saw, poking over his lip and breaking the skin. Remus was in his bed, staring wide-eyed at the intruder in his bedroom, only glimpsing him from behind his father’s back as Lyall stood in front of the boy, protective and dangerous. Blood dribbled down his chin, but Greyback paid it no mind. “I merely want you to understand what it’s like to be invested. Now that your son is one of us.”

He was gone before Lyall could react. The implied threat that Greyback might also take his wife hung in the air, so Lyall merely bowed his head and did what he could.

He couldn’t handle having an Infected for a son, and the Potters had volunteered.

Remus had felt simultaneously hated and loved. Accepted and rejected.

He’d never quite reconciled that with himself, and he felt directly responsible for the fate of Euphemia, Fleamont, and his beloved James.

Swiping his hand down his face, Remus walked into the lounge, but Sirius was nowhere to be found. The front door was cracked open though, and Remus could smell smoke. Part of him wanted to stop Sirius from clearing them out of what little they had, but he didn’t bother. What was the point?

As he moved into the kitchen to see what he could manage for supper, the door swung back all the way, and Sirius walked in. He looked exhausted, and Remus knew he hadn’t slept well the night before. Remus, of course, had shared the bed with James more often than not—body heat as well as comfort—but it was different with Sirius. His touches were tentative, frightened. He had nightmares which woke him every hour, and nothing Remus did could calm them.

Remus remembered being there, they happened still more often than not. Sometime before dawn he’d gotten Sirius back to sleep by stroking his hair—something they had pragmatically not bothered to mention or discuss come morning.

But Sirius looked as shattered as Remus felt, although he did offer a small smile as he walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the rickety table.

“Peckish?” Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. “I’m alright.”

“You need to eat,” Remus replied mildly. There was still some of the meat left from the night before, and he had dry rice in the cabinet. Starting a pot, he felt Sirius’ eyes on the back of his neck as he measured out water, then set the rice aside. Just as he was cutting up what was left of the venison, he heard the chair push back, and feet padding across the floor.

Moments later, the gentle brush of knuckles across the numbers branded into his skin. They were there, above a curving letter I that sat just below the collar of his shirt. “Did it hurt?” he asked in a near-whisper.

Remus chuckled, a tad bitterly, but it had been so long ago, it was hard to still be angry. “I think so. I was five.” 

Sirius sucked in his breath. “I…”

“They had me strapped face down to this table,” Remus threw the meat into a pan, and started it on a low heat. “There was some sort of laser thing…I don’t really remember. Only that it felt like they were setting my skin on fire. It blistered, and peeled for days, and I wasn’t allowed to put anything on it because it had to scar properly.” Remus closed his eyes as Sirius’ fingertips brushed over the numbers. “Mrs Potter made me a giant cake. Vanilla,” he said with a small laugh. “I hated chocolate. And James was so mad because he wanted one that matched. He begged his parents to take him in to get one as well—honestly I think he just wanted a cake.”

Sirius let out a small nose, a huff, maybe a laugh though Remus wasn’t sure.

“He didn’t understand why we weren’t the same, why he couldn’t be like me. His parents tried to explain it once. And he tried to sneak in when I was having an Outbreak so I would bite him and…and infect him.” Remus felt his voice tremble because he remembered waking up after that and being more violently battered than he ever had, and when he found out what happened, he cried nearly the entire day.

He’d begged James, “Never again, you hear me? I love you, you’re my best friend. Please don’t make me hurt you.”

It was Remus’ tears, Remus’ begging that made him understand.

“Remus,” Sirius breathed, and his hand closed over the back of his neck, pressing hard against the scarred skin. “I’m sorry.”

Remus laughed again, and turned his head slightly. “Why are you apologising?”

“Because my family’s part of it. They’re bastards—heartless, evil bastards who don’t care about anything other than furthering their own agenda.” His voice took on an almost bitter violence. “They hurt so many…they hurt you. They hurt…” He choked on those last words, and bowed his head against the back of Remus’ shoulder. “I wish I hadn’t fucked up so much, if only to get the two of you what you need. But I…I can’t. I…”

“What do you need?” Remus murmured, turning softly in his arms and letting one hand come up to cup his cheek. His thumb rubbed across the soft skin there, pampered and spoilt, and the nicest thing Remus had had his hands on in so long. “Tell me, Sirius. Please.”

Sirius looked up with watery, pained grey eyes, and his hand came up to curl round Remus’ wrist, pulling him away. “It’s complicated.”

Remus nodded, opening his mouth, but it was then he felt the first pangs of the pill’s effects. A tingly itch under his skin, and the white-hot heat coursing through his limbs. His face went pale, and he fell back against the counter.

“Remus?” Sirius asked, his voice sound far off. “What…what’s happening? Are you…is this…?”

“No,” Remus gasped, feeling waves of nausea clawing up his throat. “No. I had to take a pill. It’ll pass.”

Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders, trailing his hands up to his cheeks and grimaced. “You’re burning up.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, then coughed against the waves of stomach acid trying to escape his mouth. He turned and flicked off the burner, his hands trembling. “I promise it’ll pass. Don’t worry about me.”

“Remus, you look like you’re about to collapse.”

As a wave of pain hit, Remus nodded, gritting his teeth. “Just…look after the food,” he gasped. “Eat. I need to…” He rushed back to the loo and the second the door shut, he fell to his knees and emptied the contents of his stomach, knowing he was in for a long, long night.

*** 

James left the small warehouse, his pocket full of cash, feeling a bit sticky and desperate for a shower. His jeans smelt of cum, and his jumper was more stiff than he’d have liked. He hadn’t anticipated Gid wanting a shag, but he wasn’t one to turn it down.

Not for that information, and for the cash.

His bike was waiting round the corner, and he didn’t let himself think properly until he was on the open road. It was a risk, leaving town like this. He was recognisable, though not currently wanted as no one was looking for Sirius Black. He couldn’t really contain his disappointment over that, but it wasn’t a total loss.

He had leverage, and a potential plan B. Especially after Gid had given James the information he needed.

Licking his lips, James adjusted his goggles and increased his speed. The sun was rapidly setting, and the last thing he wanted was to be spotted for breaking curfew. The news had been talking of Outbreaks all over the city, a new law hitting the Parliament for a vote regarding rounding up and containing the Infected. So far they were leaving Sympathisers out of it, but it wouldn’t be long before James himself was also illegal.

For now the contained areas were getting overcrowded. The Infected had no healthcare, and they were killing each other off. And young kids were attempting reckless dares, going inside the gates, taunting those in the middle of an Outbreak near the fences.

Four had gotten out, and had to be put down, Gideon told him. People were scared, and instead of providing medication and solving the problem, the UK was merely trying to purge.

And James felt sick.

They had to get out of there.

He revved the engine again and pushed harder. He glanced behind him, but there was no traffic going in or out of London. It was not the city he’d known and loved, the city which had once been a melting pot of culture and acceptance.

Perhaps not always, but it had been getting better.

Until the Blacks.

The name left a bitter taste in his mouth, more bitter than the cum Gideon shot down his throat, and he leant his head to the side, spitting into the wind. Another grimace crossed his face, and he tried to ignore the growing panic at the thought that Sirius was alone with Remus.

Mostly because he’d known the entire time. And he was up to something. If the rumours were true…

James increased his speed, and felt his heart speed up at the sight of his turn. He skid along the dirt, only barely managing to control the bike, but hurtled into the woods and wove round the trees. It felt like an eternity before he caught sight of the brush, and killed the engine. Rolling to a stop, James hopped off the bike whilst it was still in motion, and managed to ease it behind the heavy leaves.

His feet crushed mulch along the path as he stomped toward the cottage, and when it came into sight, his vision narrowed. He had one thing on his mind—making sure Remus was safe. Then, and then…he would beat information out of Sirius and if they managed to get everything they needed, he’d kill him.

He was nothing more than fodder. Dead weight.

Pointless.

James’ fingers curled into fists as he all-but kicked the door down, and when he entered, he blinked. Sirius was stood at the table near tears, crushing something into a bowl. He looked up when James entered, and fear flickered into the grey eyes.

So he must have known what James would learn.

“Where is he?”

“Loo,” Sirius muttered.

James bypassed their captive for the moment, tearing down and throwing the door open to find Remus crouched over the white porcelain. His face was pale, body shaking, and James recognised the effects of his medication. But he was safe.

Alive. Safe. Okay.

“Moons,” James whispered, feeling his anger melt far into the back of his mind. He fell to his knees, hand reaching out, and pressed to Remus’ sweaty forehead. The fever wasn’t out of control, meaning that Remus was moving through the side-effects for now. “Moons.”

Remus tilted his head to the side, one eye peering open at James, and he croaked out, “Hey. When did you get in?”

“Just now. You alright?”

Remus licked his dry, cracked lips. “Been worse. Been better. Sirius has been…” Remus’ voice trailed off as he heaved, and chucked yellow bile into the bowl. A weak hand came up to swipe at his mouth, but missed, though he didn’t try again. “Don’t hurt him.”

“Remus…Remus I learnt…”

“I know,” Remus whispered. “I know what you learnt but please. Please, Jamie.”

James felt his heart clench because he had never denied Remus anything. Anything. He brushed a few, soaked curls away from Remus’ brow. “We’ll talk about it once this has passed, okay?”

Remus nodded, then grimaced, and heaved again. There was so little in his stomach, only a bit dribbled out, and James stood up, reaching for a flannel at the edge of the sink. He let the water run until it was clear, then soaked it, and swiped it along Remus’ face.

Letting out a vaguely satisfied hum, Remus shot James a grateful smile, then closed his eyes once more. James was reminded why he was doing this. Why he could never leave Remus behind. Why he’d allowed himself to be used and fucked and manipulated.

And why he would grant Remus this wish. For now.

But he’d do what he had to do.

Swiping his hands along his thighs, James moved back into the kitchen, and saw strange things on the counter. Mouldy bread, yellow mushrooms that grew on the trees outside, and a plant with purple flowers. In the bowl, Sirius was muddling what looked like those ingredients together.

“What are you doing?” James demanded.

“Helping,” Sirius said. He added a pinch of some sort of powder, and began crushing again.

“Helping what?”

Sirius looked up, and his eyes were wild, almost desperate. “Helping Remus, you fucking twat. What the fuck are you feeding him that poison for?”

“Because I don’t have six hundred quid for two pills of the proper medication,” James all but shouted. How dare he, how dare Sirius imply James hadn’t done sodding everything to get his hands on something real. Something that wasn’t destroying him from the inside out.

“I…fucking Christ, Potter. You know that Slughorn had come up with something decent. Not perfect but…” Sirius swished what was in the bowl, then turned and dumped it into a boiling pot on a burner.

James, however, stared in shock. “What…what? What do you mean?”

Sirius turned slowly. “Slughorn. In chemistry. He’d been working our entire time there, Potter. For fuck’s sake your best mate was Infected and you never paid attention?” He turned away, giving the mixture a stir until James watched it come to a boil. “It’s not perfect. It’s…it’ll stave off the Outbreak for a little, and it makes the effects…lessened. But it’s better than that shite he’s ingesting now.”

“You expect me to believe you?” James asked, his anger returning. He took four long strides toward Sirius and fisted his hand in the other man’s shirt. Twisting, he spun Sirius and shoved him up against the counter. “You lied.”

“I didn’t,” Sirius said quietly. “You kidnapped me, if you recall.”

James’ jaw clenched. “I know why you’re here. You think your brother’s still alive.”

Sirius’ face paled, and he swallowed hard. After a moment, meeting James’ eyes defiantly, he said, “I don’t think he’s alive, Potter. I _know_ he is.”

James’ grip tightened, and his breath quickened at the thought that maybe Sirius wasn’t lying. Maybe he was…maybe… “You’d better come clean. And right now.”

Sirius’ shoulders deflated just a bit, and he licked his lips. “He was sixteen. The year after you and I left Hogwarts. He got involved in…it was…” Sirius took in a shaking breath. “He was so fucking stupid, so fucking…” Sirius swallowed. “That bastard Riddle had drawn Regulus in, offered him an internship. Wanted an in with my family. But my brother realised what was happening. I don’t know why, I don’t know what changed his mind. I had been disinherited at the time, I’d run off and well…” At that, James’ fingers uncurled, and he stepped back, letting his hand wander into his hair in a gesture so familiar from school, Sirius’ mouth twitched. “My parents brought me back, because Regulus had tried to expose Riddle. And he was bitten as a punishment.”

James’ breath sucked in. “What?”

“I assumed they were going to kill him. I thought he was dead for two years, but one day I overheard my father talking about him and I found him. There’s Riddle’s lab, and he’s there. Him and…and several others. Experiments.”

James felt his entire face go numb with panic. Regulus had always been quiet—sweet in his own way, so different from Sirius. James had always wanted…always wondered… He blinked. “Where is he now? Is he alive?”

“I managed to sneak in once, but I couldn’t get him out. I didn’t have the resources. My parents cut off my funding, and I had nowhere to go. They’d have caught us, and killed me. He’d go back there and…and I’m no used to him dead.”

“So why are you here?” James asked in a tight voice. “What do you want?”

“Out,” Sirius said, then let out a high, tight laugh. “I want to get Reg, and I want to go. I can get access to my family’s vault through one of my cousins. She’s been disinherited but…”

“But,” James pressed.

“My cousin Bellatrix Lestrange, she’s the head of the family now. And Andromeda is her twin,” Sirius said. “I’d have done it before, but I can’t take the risk until I have Regulus in my possession.”

James blinked. “You want us to get Regulus.”

Sirius nodded. “I want…” He licked his lips, then glanced down toward where Remus was still spilling his guts, and he lowered his voice. “You’ll think I’m a monster.”

“I already do,” James said, though for the first time he wasn’t sure he meant it.

“I want to take Remus’ blood when he’s having an Outbreak, and I want to infect my father.” James gapped at him, but Sirius carried on. “I want to infect my father, and blackmail him into letting me take Regulus. Then we take the money, and we go.”

“That’s fucking suicide!” James shouted.

Sirius laughed. “It might be, but it might not. You got me out of the city James, and…and I am not the only one in my family who flirts with danger.”

“Who fucks sympathisers,” James clarified, and his stomach twisted when Sirius nodded. “You want me to fuck you father.”

“I want my father to pick you up as a prostitute, and you take him to a hotel, and as soon as he’s got his fucking pants down, you jab him with the blood and I get a recording of it. You knock him out, we escape,” Sirius said quietly, “and make a deal.”

James stared at him for a long time. “And then what?”

Sirius raised a brow. “Then we get the fuck out of here.”

“We,” James said pointedly.

At that, Sirius’ face went still. “You don’t believe me that I care about Remus, do you?”

James snorted. “Of fucking course I don’t! You’re using us. You let yourself get kidnapped.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “It looks that way, but it’s not. I had no idea. I merely hoped…and it worked out for the best. Do you see, James? This is fate. I’ve fancied Remus since school and…”

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” James snapped. “I know what he is, and I know what your kind thinks about him…”

“Don’t you dare,” Sirius said, his voice suddenly dark and venomous. “If I thought that way, for even a second, I wouldn’t be risking my life, and my brother’s life, to get him free. Do you understand? Do you understand what I’ve sacrificed, what I’ve _lost_ at the hands of those people. For my beliefs?”

James couldn’t deny the absolute sincerity in Sirius’ tone, and he hated, he absolutely _hated_ that he believed him. Fuck.

_Fuck_.

“This isn’t going to work.”

Sirius laughed. “Probably not. It’ll likely get us all killed, but unless you have a better idea…?”

James’ idea was to kidnap Bellatrix. That had been his plan B. But Regulus…oh Regulus. The very idea of letting him continue to rot, to know what he’d suffered all this time…

“Fine,” James said.

Sirius had turned back to the pot, and was now pouring it into a small tea mug. He glanced back at James, and gave a curt nod. “I’m going to give this to Remus now, to get him over this. But after that, we need him to have an Outbreak. We need the blood.”

James swallowed thickly, then took a step back and nodded. “Alright. But if anything happens to him, Sirius, anything at all, and I will rip you apart with my bare hands.”

Sirius laughed quietly. “I’ve no doubt, James Potter. But I’m willing to take the risk. Because I want out and believe me or not but I want you both out with me.”

*** 

Remus was barely awake as he felt a cloth pressed to his forehead. There was a mug at his lips, and unable to stop himself, he swallowed. The brew was hot and bitter and horrible, but warmth flooded through him almost immediately. His eyes managed to open, and he saw Sirius crouched next to him, a hand on his cheek.

“Hey there,” Sirius said quietly.

Remus just barely managed a smile. “What was that?”

“Help,” Sirius replied. He pressed the mug against Remus’ lips again. “Drink it, please. Trust me.”

Remus did both—he drank it, and he trusted Sirius. Those grey eyes held his as he swallowed it all down, and he didn’t protest when warm arms came under his arms. Sirius lifted Remus as if he weighed nothing, and carefully made his way back to the bed.

It was soft, the sheets cool against his burning skin, and he chuckled just a little as Sirius slid up onto the bed next to him. “James will kill you for this,” he croaked.

Sirius reached up, brushing hair back away from Remus’ forehead. “He won’t. We talked.”

“And you lived,” Remus pointed out.

Sirius grinned, leaning down to press his nose into Remus’ temple. “I lived,” he said softly. “The tea will help, you’ll feel better by morning, and then we can talk. I’ll tell you everything, I swear.”

“You told James?” Remus asked, feeling suddenly sleepy. The pain was floating away, his limbs going heavy and warm and suddenly felt so lovely. He used what little strength he had to roll toward Sirius, and closed his eyes.

“I told him,” Sirius said, his voice very far off. “We’ve come to an agreement.” There was a long pause, and Remus was almost unconscious when soft lips ghosted across his cheeks and forehead. Sirius’ voice echoed in his head. “I hope you can forgive me, Remus. I really do care about you. More than I should, but I need you.”

_It’s okay, Sirius,_ he meant to say, but he couldn’t get his mouth to move. He was surrounded by warmth, the smell of the other man, and the first relief he’d felt from his condition in a long time. He wanted to tell Sirius he’d promise him anything, because Sirius made him feel human, and for that, he would give up his life.


	7. A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm attempting to update as much as I can before Thursday when I'm heading out of the country for a week--and I won't have much access to the internet whilst I'm gone. So please be warned if I don't finish up fic, it's not abandoned. Actually nothing I've written so far as my WIPs have been abandoned. Please be patient.

Remus sat with his teacup clutched tightly between his hands. It was hot, but the burning sensation distracted him from the quelling emotions. 

Regulus was alive. He was Inflicted. He was being experimented on.

Sirius was here because James and Remus were his only hope for a rescue.

And Remus—whether it was directly or not—would be potentially responsible for infecting another human being. It was something he had always vowed he would never do. If he could help it, he would never inflict this upon anyone ever. Not even someone like Orion Black. 

Remus had once vowed to die before that would happen.

Only now he was staring up at hazel eyes, and grey ones. They were giving him a choice presently, though he couldn’t be sure how much of that choice was courtesy and how much of it was really his. But the illusion was nice. He stared at Sirius for a long moment, and had to wonder how much of what Sirius said to him before was real, and how much of it was trying to win Remus over for when everything was revealed.

He was drinking Sirius’ tea now, and the smell of it was familiar. It was almost the same brew he’d been given during his Outbreaks at school, but he’d never learnt the recipe and it had all been rather hush-hush. How Sirius worked it out was beyond him, but for now he was grateful for it. The taste was unpleasant—mouldy flavoured in a way, but the effects were immediate and soothing.

“Moony,” James said quietly, then abandoned all pretence and went to his knees. He placed his hands on the tops of Remus’ thighs. “If we do this, we have a real chance at getting out of here.”

Remus licked his lips, then glanced over at Sirius. “How sure are you that this is going to work?”

Sirius let one shoulder hitch up and down. “I don’t know, honestly. I want to say the plan’s solid, but a few people know that I know about Reg, and they’ll be watching him. There are a lot of cracks, a lot of gaping holes. But I can’t think of anything better.” His hand twitched, like he wanted to reach out for Remus, but he didn’t.

Turning his gaze back to James, Remus grabbed his hand, and pushed the mug into it. “Then I need to stop drinking this.”

“Moony,” James said, his voice going tight.

“I’m only contagious when I’m having an Outbreak, James. And you need to mix my saliva and blood together for it to be most effective. Which means you’re going to have to take the blood from my mouth.”

James swallowed thickly. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Short of kidnapping Orion Black, which I don’t think will be nearly as easy as we got Sirius,” Remus said quietly, “it’s your only option. I’ll heal. So just…be strong.”

James laughed, the sound heavy, and he squeezed Remus’ thigh before rising. “Okay. If we’re doing this than…than we’re doing it.” He turned to Sirius. “How do we get in contact with your cousin?”

Taking a deep breath, Sirius lowered himself into the chair he’d once been tied to, and quickly laid out his plan.

*** 

Hours later, Remus had his feet in the creek, and he heard the soft crunching of foliage under boots. A small smile flitted across his mouth as he turned his head. “You and James get everything sorted?”

Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of the borrowed jeans, and he shrugged. “Mostly. He still doesn’t like me very much.”

Remus let out a tiny sigh, chucking a small rock into the centre of the rolling brook with a plunk. “He didn’t used to be like that, you know? When we were younger. He was always protective of me, but he was…he was trusting. He was one of the kindest, most selfless people I’d ever known.”

“Everything he’s done for you?” Sirius asked, lowering himself next to Remus. He cocked his knees up and let his arms drape across them. “I’d say he still is.”

“Maybe,” Remus said, “but he’s fixated on one thing now and it’s destroying him. He needs something else to live for. He used to love, once. More than just me. And he was happy.”

Sirius nodded, his gaze fixed out over the water. “I remember. I was so jealous, you know. Of the lot of you. Always smiling, laughing, like nothing bad in the world could touch you. When I learnt you were Inflicted I was…amazed. That you could still smile and laugh. I wondered how you could be so much happier than I was.”

“And how the tables turn,” Remus muttered.

Sirius glanced at him. “Not for me, they didn’t. And they shouldn’t have for you. It shouldn’t have gone this way.”

“No,” Remus said from behind a breath. “They shouldn’t have.”

Sirius shifted, then carefully reached over and took one of Remus’ hands, gently playing with his fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I was afraid.”

“Of me?” Remus asked, staring down at Sirius’ soft fingers brushing over his knuckles.

“Of you hating me. When I realised who you were…” Sirius stopped and laughed. “I couldn’t believe my luck. I pined after you for years and then here I was sat in your lap.”

“Prisoner,” Remus pointed out.

Sirius chuckled. “Maybe, but I meant to get caught so…” He shrugged. “Then I realised if you knew why, you’d hate me. It’s self-serving, why I’m here. I want out, but I’m not going without Regulus and there was a point I didn’t care who I had to manipulate to get it.”

Remus nodded. “I can’t judge you. Not after what we did.” He let his fingers tighten on Sirius’ just for a moment. “I let James carry on with his plan because it was you. Not because you were Orion Black’s son, but because I wanted to see you again. Even if you hated me. Even if you were afraid or…or thought I was disgusting.”

Sirius’ fingers tightened reflexively, and he shook his head. “None of those things.”

“You are afraid of me,” Remus said, and when Sirius shook his head again, Remus tugged on him. “You should be. No matter what treatment I get, I’ll never be cured. I’ll never be safe. That needs to matter sometimes.”

Sirius licked his lips. “I can be cautious without being afraid, you know.” Falling silent, he turned and let his hand cup Remus’ cheek. “This could kill us, you know. This plan.”

“I know,” Remus said. “But I made my peace with that the moment James brought you home. And I want to try. For you, for your brother. For James who…who can’t go on like this anymore.”

“He says he’s got a secret sympathiser,” Sirius replied quietly.

“James is…” Remus licked his lips and rolled his eyes up to the edge of the tree canopy. “A prostitute, for lack of a better word. He has a lot of contacts, and a lot of people are secret sympathisers. He knows who to trust.”

“He’s going to turn over the video to whomever it is. Of my father becoming Inflicted. We’ll meet Andi in Glasgow after that. She’ll fly in from Paris and she’ll get us the money we need.”

“Are you sure?”

Sirius nodded. “Her husband is Inflicted. Her daughter was born after it happened so…” Sirius licked his lips. “She has just enough money and prestige to keep it under wraps. Something my father will have if we don’t get enough evidence.”

Remus shifted so he and Sirius were pushed closer together, sides touching from shoulder to thigh. “Alright. I trust you.”

Sirius huffed a laugh. “You probably shouldn’t. I’ve never been totally rational when it comes to Reg and well…I’ll sacrifice a lot.”

“Then you and James are far more alike than you think.” Remus let his hand drop from Sirius’, and he snaked his arm round the other man’s waist, hitching him even closer. 

Sirius sucked in his breath, then turned his face and pressed it to Remus’ shoulder. “James has contacts to get us a flight out of the country. Once we’re safe, we tell his contact to destroy the evidence against my father, and we’re gone.”

“And the rest of England?”

“They can rot,” Sirius said. “I know there are so many people here who deserve to be saved, but I learnt a long time ago I can’t worry about them. Something will happen. A mass genocide, maybe. Or revolution.”

“They people do love their revolutions,” Remus said wryly.

Sirius chuckled against his shoulder. “Yes. But whatever it is, we’ll have sanctuary.”

“And you don’t think those islands are just a myth?” Remus questioned. He paused, then let his fingers drift up, running through Sirius’ slightly unkempt locks.

Sirius shook his head again. “They’re not. I’ve helped a few people get out and…and they’re safe.”

Remus felt something in his shoulders give way, a fear maybe that had been lodged there for years. He believed Sirius. “Alright,” he whispered. His hand moved from Sirius’ hair, to his face, then stopped to cup his chin. “It’ll be alright, you know?”

Sirius swallowed so hard, Remus could hear it, and he let out a shaking breath. “Will it, though? You believe that?”

“I’ve long since lost most hope,” Remus admitted, not letting Sirius’ face go. “But I didn’t have you here. And,” he stopped and closed his eyes for fear of what he might see on Sirius’ face after this admission—rejection or disgust. “And something to fight for.”

“Remus,” Sirius breathed, and suddenly he was turning and kneeling in front of Remus’ cupping his cheeks and pressing the pads of his thumbs into Remus’ dimples. “I used to lie in bed at night and dream about you like this. Looking at me, touching me. Knowing I existed.”

“I always knew,” Remus breathed. “I did.” His hands came up and curled round Sirius’ wrists. “Kiss me. Please kiss me. Please don’t be afraid.”

Sirius brought his face in so close their lips brushed together. “Never was.”

“You’re a fool then,” Remus whispered back.

Sirius laughed, not backing away. “I know. But only for you.”

And then their mouths pressed together, hard and insistent. Remus’ opened under Sirius’, easy, almost desperate. His hands found the front of Sirius’ shirt, twisting into it, pulling him tighter. Sirius fit between his legs easily, pushing him back so Remus hit the soft mulch, and he was reassured by Sirius’ weight on top of him as their mouths moved, tongues dancing hot and slick.

After a minute, Sirius pulled back, just far enough to speak again. “Fuck. Remus…”

Remus let out a small, choked laugh. “Apt.”

Sirius dipped his head down again, pressing another fierce kiss to his lips, then dragged his mouth along Remus’ jaw, to his neck where he sucked at the pulse point. “I fucking want you. I want you so much.”

“Have me,” Remus said, shifting so their hips were aligned. “Have me, Sirius. I’ve been yours since…since forever.”

Sirius let out a groan before his hand snaked between them to open buttons and zips and then it was skin on skin and suddenly the air around them was so hot and thick in spite of being outside. All Remus knew after that was sensation, sensation he’d only experienced a handful of times with strangers who had no idea who or what he was. Sensation which had always left him with the memory of the grey-eyed man he’d always wanted and thought he would never have.

The idea of it suddenly became wild, wanton, and he bucked his hips, groaning Sirius’ name into the other man’s mouth until he was coming so hard his head spun and he saw white.

He was vaguely aware of a sudden splash of warmth on his belly, of his name being whispered like a prayer, and Sirius all-but sobbing into his neck for as long as the orgasm crashed through him. 

And then it was over.

Sticky, the air now too-cold on their sweat-soaked skin, and Sirius was mumbling an apology as he quickly rolled away, trying to clean them up as best he could.

“Are you sorry for you, or for me?” Remus muttered as he tucked himself back into his trousers.

Sirius glanced sideway at him. “I don’t know. I feel like I shouldn’t have…that I pushed you.”

Remus shook his head. “I wanted that as much as you did. I understand the regret, though. It’s always a risk and I…”

Sirius silenced him by lunging forward, pressing a chaste kiss to his mouth. “I wanted that, and I’m not afraid. I meant what I said, Remus. I’m not…I’m not trying to seduce you into helping me. If you change your mind now and refuse to go along with the plan it’s not going to stop me from wanting you.”

Remus bowed his head and ran his fingers into his curls, trying to shake away fallen twigs and leaves. “I’m doing this for you. And for James. And Regulus.”

“And yourself?” Sirius prodded.

Remus looked at him for a long time. “Before, I would have said no. Because I wasn’t sure I wanted to get out of this alive.”

“And now?” Sirius pressed.

Remus took a breath. “And now I think…maybe there’s some hope for me too.”

Sirius’ eyes brightened just a bit, and he reached over, pulling Remus closer. “At the end of this, we’re going to be safe. Far from here, and safe and…and together.”

Unable to stop himself from wanting, from being able to protect his heart in case it all went wrong, he clutched Sirius tighter and closed his eyes. “Promise me, Sirius.”

There was a fierce kiss pressed to his temple, and a rough voice in his ear. “I promise, Remus. On everything I am.”


	8. Now or Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, last update for the week. I'll see you lot in 7 days x

It was sometime near dawn when the shadow crossed the floor, and Remus shifted over automatically as James crawled onto the sofa, digging his feet under Remus’ thigh, and pulling the duvet up over them both. He reached out, plucking Remus’ now-tepid tea from his hands, taking a long drink, and he sighed.

“Good to have some proper tea round here for a bit, eh?”

Remus laughed. “We’ve been spoilt this month. You must have worked hard.”

James sighed, then shifted so he could bury his face in Remus’ neck, wrapping one arm round his waist. “You have love bites.”

Remus waited a beat before answering. “I do.”

“I don’t understand.”

Remus’ free hand drifted up, carding through James’ hair gently. “I like him. There’s not much more to it than that.”

“You don’t think he’s using you to get to his brother?”

Remus’ fingers paused before resuming their carding motion. “Maybe. Maybe he is. But I think for a while I’d like to think I’m worthy of being loved for me, and not because someone wants something out of me.”

James’ grip went tight, almost vicious. “I love you for you, Remus.”

With a chuckle, Remus shook his head. “I know that, Jamie. But it’s different with us, and I’d like it if someone wanted me not because they want to see what it’s like to shag a monster, or because they feel sorry for me or…or because they have a death wish. I’d like to let myself believe I’m worthy of being in love, and being loved back just the same.”

James’ breath came out shaking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t mean to imply…”

“It’s alright,” Remus said. “But there’s going to come a time when you don’t have to live to protect me—whether it’s because this mad plan works and we get the hell out of here, or I die.” James stiffened and started to protest, but Remus cut him off. “No, James. We need to acknowledge that I could die. And I might. I have hope though, and that matters.”

“It does,” James agreed quietly. “I just…I’ve watched you get hurt for too many years, Moons. And I want you to be happy. And I don’t know if I trust him.”

“Trust me, then,” Remus said, and leant forward to set his teacup down before pulling James fully into his arms. “I know you’re doing this for Regulus. It didn’t escape my notice, you know. Even back then.”

James sighed and hid his face in the front of Remus’ shirt. “No point in denying it now, is there?”

Remus shook his head. “It’s a worthy cause, you know. Loving him too. Having something for yourself.”

“He never fancied me,” James said. “He and Sirius hated us and I don’t expect…I just…I can’t stand the thought of him under their control. Christ knows what they’re doing to him.”

“I know,” Remus said gently. “That’s why we’re doing this. It’s not just for us, and I have to believe we can pull this off. I haven’t had hope in a long time, Jamie. And it’s high time I start. Otherwise, we’ll never get through this. You can’t carry the both of us anymore.”

“Yeah,” James agreed, and let his eyes close. “Shouldn’t be long now.”

Remus glanced down at his trembling fingers and breathed out through his nose. “No. Not long at all.”

*** 

Three weeks after Sirius’ tea, Remus felt the first stirrings of an Outbreak, and he padded into the kitchen, pale and trembling, his face drawn and tense.

“Remus?” Sirius asked, walking over quickly and taking his hand. “Are you alright?”

Remus grimaced and shook his head. “Where’s Jamie?”

“Hunting,” Sirius replied. He took Remus by the waist and turned him to get a proper look. “Poorly?”

“Outbreak,” Remus said, and Sirius took an involuntary step back. “Not now. Tonight, maybe. Or tomorrow. If he’s not back in a few hours, go find him, okay?”

Sirius nodded, and reached out again, cupping Remus’ clammy cheek. “Can I get you anything? Something to eat or…?”

“It’s best if I don’t take anything,” Remus said. “I think a bath will do just fine, and I might go back to bed. I’ll have enough warning before it happens, so you don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not…”

“Yes,” Remus interrupted. “You are, and it’s okay. You can’t drop your guard with this, Sirius. If you want to love me, I’ll accept it. But I won’t risk you.”

Sirius pulled Remus over, pressing his face into Remus’ neck, and kissed him there first, then dragged his lips up to Remus’. “I do love you, you know.”

Remus laughed. “We’ll see.”

“You’ll believe me some day,” Sirius told him. “On a sunny beach somewhere, having a drink and this hellhole of a country will be nothing more than a distant memory.”

Remus didn’t reply, but let his hand drag down to squeeze Sirius’ fingers before he wandered off to have a bath. The ache in his bones was fierce, and he knew it was coming. By dusk, he was sure of it. He welcomed it, the first step in their plan. If he died, then it would be over. And if they won, then perhaps he could look forward to a time when he was no longer fighting for scraps of humanity. He would accept either outcome with open arms.

*** 

James finally returned just as Sirius was lacing his boots to fetch him, and he jumped up from the sofa. “It’s going to happen tonight, Remus says.”

James’ eyes went wide. “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“I was just about to,” Sirius groused. “He’s had a bath and he’s in bed. Said to get everything ready when you got in.”

James shoved past him, but Sirius followed close at his heels. “I don’t need help,” James barked.

“And I don’t care,” Sirius snapped back. “I want to help. Eventually it’s going to be me and him and I…”

Sirius’ words were cut off when James grabbed him by the front of his shirt, slamming him against the wall. “There will never be a time I’m not there for him. You may claim to love him, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Sirius grabbed James by the wrist and pulled him off. “And you need to accept that I do care about him and I do plan to be there in the future. Whatever he needs. I’m not trying to muscle you out, mate, but it’s time you accept that other people give a shit about him too.”

“When I see it,” James said in a low voice, “I’ll believe it.” He pushed past Sirius, heading to the festering mattress to sort out the chains. Testing the hooks on the floor until he was satisfied, he turned to see Sirius watching him. After a moment, he sighed. “They need to be secure, each time. Before each Outbreak, you have to inspect the chains to make sure there’s no flaw in the links. Open them, set them steady. We chain him down before the change, and as soon as it starts, he’s gagged and then left in here until morning.”

Sirius’ face was pale, but he was nodding. “Alright.”

“Tonight will be different. We’ll need to hold him down and extract blood from his mouth. It means he’s going to have his head restrained and I’m going to have to slice his cheeks and tongue open.”

Sirius swallowed thickly. “A-alright. I want to help. I need to know I can do this.”

“Fine,” James said, and Sirius blinked, startled like he thought he was going to be rejected. “You chain him down whilst I prepare the bag to transport the blood. Make sure they’re on secure. If they’re not, he’ll get lose and we’ll both be fucked.”

Sirius nodded, then followed James out of the room. Dusk was approaching rapidly, and tension settled over the house. It was nearly time, and they had to be prepared.

*** 

“I…now. Please,” Remus gasped from the doorway.

James nodded sharply at Sirius who came over, putting his arm round Remus’ waist. He looked petrified, but kept a firm grip on his lover as they moved into the room. Remus doubled over, letting out a pained cry as Sirius tried to ease him onto the bed.

Remus assumed his usual position to make it easier, arms and legs spread, and his amber eyes which were glowing fierce, locked onto Sirius. “It’s happening fast. Chains. Hurry.”

Sirius nodded, and he winced at the sight of the vicious spikes, but grabbed one of Remus’ ankles. He sank the metal into the flesh, cringing at Remus’ cry, and he felt his eyes prickle. It went against everything he believed in, causing someone he cared about pain like this. He fastened the cuff though, and went for the other foot.

Remus cried louder with this one, and Sirius all-but sobbed. “M’sorry.”

“Sirius,” Remus gasped. “Hurry!”

Sirius tried to move faster, but his hands were trembling and as he tried to sink the cuff into Remus’ wrist, he stopped. Remus was sobbing at the pain, and he couldn’t do it. “There has to be another way,” he begged. “Remus there…I can’t…”

Remus let out a garbled cry, and just when Sirius thought he was going to fall back, it happened. Like a switch being flipped. Remus was no longer there, and the eyes of a monster was staring out from the face of the man he loved.

Remus’ hand darted out, closing round Sirius’ throat, tossing the chains aside. Remus let out a growl as Sirius tried to scramble backward, fighting for breath. “James!” he gasped, shoving Remus back. The ankle chains kept him in place, but he had too much leverage. “James!”

The hand caught him again, closing round his throat and this time…everything started to go black. Hot breath was on his neck, the graze of teeth.

This was it, he was sure of it. Either murdered or Inflicted by his lover.

Then suddenly he was thrown back, gasping for air. As his vision returned, he saw James stood over Remus who was unconscious, bleeding from the temple. James looked murderous as he hauled Remus onto the bed, fastening the chains round his wrist tight and steady. With a withering look back at Sirius, he grabbed a small knife, wrenched Remus’ jaw open, and made several cuts.

Holding Remus’ jaw shut for a moment, James placed a glass phial at the corner of his mouth, and moments later, blood and saliva began to dribble out. Just as it was nearly full, Remus let out a moan, and James quickly grabbed the gag, placing it over Remus’ mouth.

Sirius winced at the muted cry, but he was scrambling to his feet and following James out, saying nothing as James locked, bolted, and chained the door shut. When Potter turned, Sirius gasped.

“I’m sorry. I’m…”

James had him by the shoulders, shoving him against the wall. “If you ever pull a stunt like that again. Ever. I will send your body back to your family in _pieces._.” With that, he let Sirius go and stormed off.

Sirius sagged against the wall, sliding down until he was stretched out in front of the door. He turned on his belly after a while, listening to the muted cries of the man he loved as he ached and suffered. And all for what? The sake of their plan? Sirius hadn’t anticipated on falling in love. That had not been part of the deal, but Remus was…something else. Something different.

He was everything.

Always had been, from the moment Sirius had set eyes on him at Hogwarts. 

And whatever he was suffering now, most of it was Sirius’ fault for not being strong enough.

Eventually Remus went quiet, and Sirius pushed himself to his feet, padding into the lounge where James was curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea. He gave Sirius a long look, his expression hidden, and eventually he sighed and nodded toward the open cushion.

“The first time I had to chain him, I was sixteen. It was over the summer, and he wasn’t taking to the new drugs very well. My dad usually did it, you know?” James said, thumbing the rim of his mug. “My mum didn’t have the strength, and my dad was poorly, so it was down to me. Watching those spikes sink into his skin, knowing they’re cutting into the tendon so he can’t move, can’t get free…it was the worst thing I’d ever experienced. Before I could just help him heal, be the good guy, the one who brought the comfort. Now I was bringing the torture and pain—and all for what?”

Sirius licked his lips. “I just…”

“I don’t like hurting him either, but it’s not just for our sakes that we chain him down. If he can’t get out, he attacks himself. He could die…nearly has once or twice when we tried letting him free-roam in a locked room. These small injuries are far better than what he’ll do if he’s left to his own devices.”

“I just want to get him somewhere that this stops,” Sirius said, his voice tense. “I don’t…I can’t bear watching it.”

“You get more numb to it, as the years go on,” James said quietly. “But it never feels good. When I go out there and…and…subject myself to London at large, for whatever scraps she’ll give me, I think about him chained to that bed. And it gives me strength. So find yours, because this isn’t over yet.”

“I’m getting him out of here,” Sirius said fiercely. “Him and Regulus.”

“For all of our sakes,” James said, and gave Sirius a very slow, tense smile, “I certainly hope so.”

*** 

Sirius clung tight to James as they hit the open road to London. He was wearing a hoodie to hide his face, though he doubted anyone would be looking, but he had to stay incognito just in case. They couldn’t ruin this. They had one chance.

Their first stop was to one of James’ clients, for a secure line to get in touch with Andi about a meeting and the vault. They would arrange for a video pickup once Sirius got the footage of the attack on his father.

The second stop would be to speak to Rosier, the bodyguard who would arrange for the meet between James and Orion. James was posing as Patil, one of his distant cousins who had also been thrown from India when several families had been outed as Sympathisers. It was less conspicuous as being a Potter, and by this point he doubted anyone would recognise him as the son of Euphemia and Fleamont.

Their third stop would be to meet Orion. Sirius would sneak into the room before Orion arrived, and from a safe spot, get the whole thing on video.

It was risky. There was a chance that Remus, who was still recovering from his Outbreak, would end this completely alone.

Sirius had been there when he woke, apologies flowing from his lips, but Remus had merely reached up with a weak hand and cupped his cheek. “It’s alright. As long as you got what you needed.”

“We did,” Sirius breathed, nuzzling into the shaking palm. “But Remus I…”

“I remember. Some of it,” Remus said, his voice hoarse and raw. “It’s alright, Sirius. Just…next time you know what to do. You know why.”

Sirius leant down, kissing his lips softly. “James and I are leaving soon. Will you be alright on your own?”

Remus gave a weak chuckle. “Done this plenty, I promise.”

Sirius stayed with him as long as he could, but eventually James dragged him out and now they were looking at the London skyline, terror flooding through both of them. Ready to begin.

*** 

The redhead sat with his hands hanging between his knees, staring between James and Sirius. “You know love, you’ve not asked a lot of me over the years, and I’d like to think I’d do anything for you…”

“Gideon,” James said, his voice softer and kinder than Sirius had ever heard it, “this is giving you power, you realise. I know about the tattoo on your hip. I know it’s for your sister.”

Sirius frowned, but didn’t ask as Gideon’s hand went reflexively to his side.

“Do this for her. For everyone you want to bring back.”

After a moment, Gideon rose. “Fine.” Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a mobile and handed it off to Sirius. “I’m smashing this to bits when you’re done, so make it quick. I’ll arrange for the bodyguard meetup. I have a friend who…knows about these sorts of things. You,” he said, rounding on James, “had better go get smart.”

Sirius watched as James slipped out of the room, then he quickly dialled up Andi, saying a prayer she’d pick up. And she did, after far too long.

“Are you alone?”

“Si—”

“Don’t,” he said quickly. “Is anyone looking for me?”

Andi sighed. “Your father had men here a few weeks ago, but they weren’t looking very hard. Why?”

“It’s time,” he said, and from her long pause, he knew she remembered the plan. “I have everything else in order. I just need you.”

“Alright,” she said from behind a sigh. “Text me co-ordinates.”

“Then destroy your phone,” he said. “Can you get there within the week?”

“Three days. Good luck.”

“I need it,” he breathed, then rang off. Quickly imputing the co-ordinates for the drop-off he’d long-since scouted out, he handed the mobile back off to the redhead who went to work smashing it to bits. He carefully spread the pieces, then walked to the loo where Sirius heard the toilet flushing repeatedly.

It was done.

This part was done.

James arrived twenty minutes later, looking much the same as he had when Sirius first met him at the pub, and he gave Sirius a stiff nod. “Sorted?”

“Yes,” Sirius replied. “You?”

James looked over at Gideon who nodded. “I’ve got the hotel name. He’ll be there in an hour. You’ll go in through the staff entrance, and a man called Rookwood will take you to the room.”

James looked at Sirius. “You’ll have to find your own way in. How will I tell you what room he’s using?”

Sirius grimaced. “It’s fine. I know exactly where he’ll be. It’s not the getting in part I’m worried about. Or the getting out.”

James sighed, then quickly set to work arranging the drop-off with Gideon. “We plan to negotiate after we get the money from Sirius’ cousin. So if you don’t hear from us in a week, go public. You got it?”

Gideon pinched the bridge of his nose, but nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I got it. I’m just not sure this is a smart idea.”

James laughed. “It isn’t. But we’ve run out of options.”

Gideon shuffled his feet, then sighed. “When you’re safe, what do I do then? Turn it over?”

James looked at Sirius who shook his head. “Do what you want with it. Do what you think needs to be done. Once we’re out, he can’t hurt us anymore.”

Gideon nodded, then led the way out the back of the warehouse to where a car was waiting. “Good luck. If all goes well, I’ll see you in two hours.”

James gave him a fake salute, then climbed into the back. Sirius, meanwhile, tucked the hood over his face and shoved his hands into his pockets. It was now or never, and with both Regulus and Remus on the line, never wasn’t an option.


	9. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that it is: 6am. Things I am not doing: Sleeping. So you get an update since I actually have alright internet here. I'm incredibly jet-lagged from the flights though, so if this chapter is a bit shite, I apologise. There will probably be about two more, plus an epilogue.

Sirius laid flat on his belly under the bed, feet pressed against the wall. He had the small recording device in his hand, aimed at James who was stood by the window. He looked as dapper as he had when Sirius had first met him, his muscles flexed and poised, child held high, his eyes smouldering.

Sirius could see it, see how James worked, see the appeal he held for other people. Sympathiser, maybe, but he was gorgeous and alluring, and had Sirius not been so in love with Remus he could see himself wanting. Yes, wanting.

Right now, however, his mind was fixed. On the lump in James’ pocket which was filled with a syringe which would forever change Orion Black’s life. A syringe which would force him to suffer Oubreaks, to change and become as monstrous as those he kept down in ghettos and laboratories. 

He deserve it, Sirius reminded himself. And this was the only way. Sirius held no particular love for his father—never really had. Orion had always been cruel, unloving. The only way to move him was to motivate him.

He would be forced to hide, to protect himself. To change the laws should he ever be found out. He would not protect his family, no. But he would protect himself.

Sirius felt his entire body stiffen when the telltale click of the door echoed through the room. There were shuffling footsteps, and then there he was. Suited up, shoulders squared, his dark hair going grey at the temples. Sirius shared very little characteristics of himself with his father.

Where Orion was broad-shoulders, and sharp lines, Sirius was short and lithe, soft, like his mother. He shared none of their aptitude for cruelty, however. He had been so certain they had loved Regulus, and now…

Sirius swallowed and shifted forward with the camera. It was already recording, the gentle humming of the electronic lost in the background noise of the blowing air and James’ quiet laughter as he ran his hand down Orion’s back.

His seduction was professional, flawless as he leant his head in to whisper into Orion’s ear. Sirius felt his stomach twist and ache as he watched James’ mouth brush over Orion’s and his volume increased.

“I have something for you,” he said from behind a chuckle.

Orion pulled his head back and grinned. “Oh yes? Does it involve you…shirtless?” He drew his finger down James’ buttons, and James’ grin widened.

“Close your eyes. You’re going to enjoy this.” The second Orion did, James looked directly at Sirius, then reached into his pocket. He uncapped the syringe, pressed his fingers over Orion’s mouth, and plunged.

There was a muffled shout, and James covered it with a loud moan, “God fuck, yes!” Orion went down to his knees as James continued to press until the syringe was near empty. When he pulled it away, he flashed it at the MP.

“Do you know who I am?” James asked in a low voice.

Orion’s head shook along with his hands, scrabbling at the floor for purchase as the two knelt face-to-face.

“My name is James Potter.” Orion sucked in his breath behind James’ fingers, and James’ smile widened, going cruel. “You know who I am now. Excellent. And I know the first thing you want to do is call for your men and have me arrested, but that’s not going to happen. Because I’m here to tell you, Mr Black, you’ve been Inflicted.”

Orion stared at him…then promptly fainted.

*** 

It took nearly ten minutes to revive the MP, and when he woke, he was gagged and bound to the chair. He struggled a moment, but when his eyes locked onto Sirius who was still holding the camera, he froze.

“Father,” Sirius said, inclining his head. “I’m sure you understand now why we’re all here.”

James stepped in front of Orion now, kneeling down to be eye-level. “My entire life, I have fought for the rights of those you claim are monstrous. I know them, I love them. And now you’re part of them.” He held up the syringe with a bit of Remus’ saliva-laced blood, and flicked it. “This is in your veins now, and unless you take a suppressant within seventy-two hours, you’ll have your first Outbreak. It may happen anyway, though if you take the medication you can afford—seeing as you’re not only rich, but connected—you may have an easier time than the people I love.” James licked his lips, and placed one hand over Orion’s. Tight. “We’re here to negotiate. And I’m here to let you know that a copy of everything that just occurred has been sent to a contact of mine, who is on a secure network. He’s got a copy now of your seduction and Infliction. He’ll be receiving a copy of this as well, and has been instructed to go to the press should you fail to comply.”

There was a muffled noise that sounded similar to, “What do you want?”

It was Sirius’ turn to speak. “Regulus.”

Orion gave a derisive snort, and Sirius shook his head.

“I know where he is. I’ve seen him. You’re going to arrange for his release, and five days to allow us to flee the country. After that, this will be returned to you,” he tapped the camera, “the footage by our contact will be destroyed, and you can keep your now dirty little secret.”

Orion’s eyes were wide, watery. He could likely feel the burn in his veins, the ache in his bones of the infection settling in. He swallowed, then begged for the gag to come off.

“Remember, if we are taken into custody,” James said, his hand going round the back of Orion’s head, “this goes to the Media.” He released the gag, and Orion snarled.

“What makes you think they’ll believe it?”

“I think people will be happy to,” Sirius replied with a shrug. “And I don’t think Riddle is going to take chances. He wouldn’t take them with Regulus, and that will be you.”

Orion paled. “All you want is your brother?”

“All I want,” Sirius said. “That, and time. What you do with your new condition after that, is up to you.”

“How can I trust you’ll get it to me?” Orion demanded.

“Because it’s going through Andi and she owes you something. Something small, she assured me, but enough to play intermediary for this.”

It was clear by Orion’s eyes that he believed them. And he was petrified.

“You, Orion Black, are now one of the Inflicted.” James circled him, grinning. “Do we have a deal?”

Orion’s jaw went tense, then he nodded. With that, Sirius switched off the camera, and on the hotel’s wifi, sent the file to Gideon. He would receive it, destroy the device once he removed it, and await instructions from Sirius and James.

Reaching down, James untied the MP and stepped back.

“You filthy little bastard,” Orion spat. “Your mother should have ended you the moment she found out she was pregnant.”

“Likely,” Sirius said in a dull tone. “If she had, we wouldn’t be here right now, would we?”

Orion opened his mouth, but doubled over, grabbing his gut. James reached out, easing the man back into a standing position. “You’re going to need to learn to control that, lest people start to…notice.”

Orion wrenched his arm away. “Tonight. Midnight. I will send the guards at the lab off. You will have exactly thirty minutes to get him out and on the road. I can’t promise anything more than that.”

“If this is a trap…” Sirius warned.

Orion snorted. “If you’re lying to me, I will hunt you down. Do you understand me?”

“I would expect nothing less,” Sirius replied with a nod.

The pair stepped back, out of sight as Orion went for the door. 

It slammed loud, echoing through the room, and James and Sirius unconsciously moved toward each other. Their hands brushed, shoulders pressed together, waiting. There was no escape if Orion chose to out them. He would be destroyed, Sirius and James would be dead, and Remus would be alone.

When thirty minutes passed and they remained safe, Sirius let himself fall back to the bed, hands covering his face.

“I didn’t think he’d let us go.”

“He hasn’t got much choice,” James said, perching on the edge near Sirius’ feet. “He wouldn’t allow himself to become like your brother out of anger. He knows when he’s been beaten.”

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. “I suppose I didn’t get that from him.”

James turned, giving Sirius a careful look before reaching out and closing his hand round the other man’s ankle. “Yes, you do. You just haven’t been beaten yet.”

*** 

Ten to midnight, James and Sirius stood outside the Riddle Laboratories, waiting. They could see the night guards at the desk, two patrolling several floors up, and cameras with red lights blinking, scanning the area.

After delivering the hard-copy video to Gideon, James had managed to nick a car, one they’d abandon and burn as they got closer to the cottage, but it would due in a pinch to get Regulus out. There was no telling what kind of condition he would be in, and both James and Sirius were nearly sick over it.

Just as the clock struck twelve, the chimes heard gently over the breeze across the city, a few lights flickered. One by one, the red lights on the cameras flickered out, and Sirius watched with wide eyes as the guards disappeared out of the room.

“It can’t be that easy,” Sirius breathed.

“Well, it’s now or never,” James said, and grabbed him by the wrist.

Sirius half expected the front doors to be locked, but they swung wide, and there was not a sound. They had thirty minutes, which wasn’t a lot of time, so he dragged James into the stairwell and headed up to the first floor.

Regulus had been there, last Sirius had seen him. Begging and pleading, strapped to a bed with tubes down his nose, and several IV needles in his arms. It had been all Sirius could to not to burn the place then, but he wanted to be careful. To save him properly.

Holding his breath, he led the way down the corridor to the room, and peered in the window. The lights were dim, but the bed was still there, and beyond the curtain, Sirius knew.

Regulus.

He gave the door a shove, and it opened heavy but easily, and James followed close at his heels as he shoved the curtain aside.

It was Regulus, but like Sirius had never seen him. Emaciated, staring wild-eyed, weak and near dead, he was sure. 

“Reg. Fuck, Regulus.”

The younger man turned, his eyes clearly unseeing. “S-Sirius?”

“It’s me. Jesus fuck. Fuck!” Sirius ran his hands into his hair, spinning in a half circle to see James staring, looking almost ill. “Potter,” he snapped. “Go find what we need to get him out of here. Now.”

Looking pleased to be given a task, James rushed out, and Sirius turned back to his brother, putting one hand on his cheek as Regulus let out a choked sob.

“You’re real? You’re real?”

“I’m real. I’m here. I’ve got you.” Sirius fumbled with the bonds, releasing his brother’s bony wrists before taking him by the face. “Reggie, why can’t you see?”

“I don’t…some medication,” he rasped.

“Is it permanent?”

“I don’t know.” Weak arms came up, touching Sirius on the face, on the hair. “This isn’t…I’ve dreamt and…”

Sirius pinched him hard, making Regulus whimper. “See, it’s real. It’s me. Come on, we have to…”

“Wait,” Regulus gasped. “You have to…to my left. To my left there’s a…”

Regulus didn’t need to finish his sentence. A sharp baby’s cry pierced the air, and Sirius dropped his brother’s arm, rushing to the curtain to shove it back. Bound, much like Regulus was, in a small cot, was a baby. Dark curls, violently bruised from too many needles and not enough care.

“What…who is this?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know. But we can’t leave it. They brought it in yesterday,” Regulus said, struggling to stand. “Please, Sirius Please.”

Hearing the desperation in his brother’s voice, Sirius realised he couldn’t say no. And far be it from him to leave a baby to this…this torture. He unbuckled it, turning the second James came to a skidding halt.

“Is that…Sirius no. We can’t take a baby,” James said.

“Please,” Regulus begged, and that word alone was James’ undoing. He turned to Regulus and his entire face dropped.

“I…”

“You carry my brother,” Sirius ordered. “I’ll take the baby. What did you get?”

“I got medical files, drugs,” James said, patting the rucksack he was carrying.

Sirius hunted round, and found the baby supplies under the cot in a small cabinet. He banged nappies and what looked like pre-mixed formula bottles at James, and then lifted the infant into his arms. The IV ports bled all over when they were detached, but he realised he couldn’t care. Not now.

James had Regulus in his arms as though he weighed nothing—and really he nearly did, and somehow they were heading out. They had made it.

Just before they got to the car, there was the crunch of gravel and Sirius froze. A figure came round from a dustbin, and Sirius’ body went icy. Orion stood there, looking pale and shaking.

“You really did infect me.”

“I did,” Sirius said. He looked at James who already had Regulus in the car, and he quickly handed off the baby. Orion gave it a passing glance, but looked to be putting up no fight. “You left me no choice.”

“You’re as ruthless as I am,” Orion said mildly.

Sirius barked a laugh. “I learnt from the best. Only I have better motivation.”

“Love?” Orion sneered. “You’ll realise it won’t get you far.”

“I only want to get away,” Sirius pointed out. “Nothing more. Or are you here to stop us?”

“Only to ensure that my secret remains as such,” Orion said. “Tell Andi I will expect her in five days.”

Sirius nodded, backing up, then sliding into the back seat, and as James switched on the car and drove off, he watched the dark figure of the man he hated more than anything, fade into the darkness. As they headed out of the city, Sirius finally allowed himself to breathe. The baby was on his lap now, slumbering. Regulus was in the front, slumped against the window, shivering but alive. Alive, and with them. And safe.

“Alright?” James asked with a shaking laugh. “Did we do it?”

Sirius glanced over at James’ carry bag knowing that there were drugs in there for Regulus, for Remus. Documents. Proof. And collateral for their safe departure from this god-forsaken country. “Yeah, I think we did. If Andi makes the drop off, we’ll be finished. We’ll be free.”

“Free,” James whispered as he stared out over the horizon, toward the cottage where Remus was waiting.

It was such a strange word. Too much meaning now, too much hope.

Because now they had too much to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask yes, the baby is Teddy.


	10. Never Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last. x

James knelt down near the side of the bed, the warm mug clutched between his fingers. The figure beneath the duvet was still trembling from the shock of everything—the emaciated figure of the man James had once known, admired. Pined for.

Regulus was the ghost of himself now. Wasted away, skin like paper, veins visible and pulsing. His hair was long, but fragile, his eyes still wide and unseeing in the short moments he’d remained conscious through the entire ordeal.

James was still in shock that it had worked. At least so far, they’d gotten away with their plan. Orion had complied with his end of the deal, and James had been partly sure he would have killed them and attempted to silence Gideon. Not that it would have mattered. Orion was Infected now, and there was a small bit of James which felt disgusted with himself, horrified that he’d gone so far from his own humanity he looked at others like fodder.

But it was for the greater good. It was for Moony. And Regulus. And maybe even a little bit for that tiny, nameless baby Sirius hadn’t let go of.

They’d managed to burn the car—James driving it far from the cottage and setting it ablaze. He’d expected authorities to inspect the field, but nothing else caught, and eventually all that was left was smouldering embers to show where they’d been. How far they’d come.

James hadn’t time to go through all the papers they’d stolen off the lab, but Sirius had immediately gone to work making his tea, for Remus and Regulus. Remus was still recovering, waking only a little when they’d returned. He was worse for the wear this time, Sirius’ mistake had taken a violent toll on him, but he was alright.

James felt torn now. When it was just Moony, that was it. And now these people, the fates of others, all sat under his roof waiting for the funds. And for the escape. They had exactly five days to get out.

Sirius had gone out at dawn to contact Andi, and James waited, his breath half-stuck in his chest, for Sirius’ return. The morning waned on and just as James was starting to think Sirius had been caught, he returned wearing a soft but triumphant smirk.

He’d done it.

At least this far.

They were one step closer.

And now he was stood beside Regulus, hoping against hope they could nurse him back to a state where he could travel, where the taste—the very idea—of freedom was appealing enough to get out of the bed. To save himself.

Kneeling down, James reached out, carefully touching Regulus’ wrist. For a second, he didn’t move, then he sat up with a gasp. His eyes were wide, wandering, and he shifted away.

“D-don’t,” he rasped.

It was the first words he’d spoken since they arrived, and James swallowed against them. “It’s alright. It’s fine. You’re safe.”

“You’re not Sirius.”

James very nearly laughed at that. “No. No I’m not. But I’m here to help. I have…”

“Where is he?” Regulus demanded. He attempted to sit up, but was still too weak, though he pulled back almost violently against James’ touch. “What did you do to him?”

“I swear he’s fine,” James said, almost begging. “Here I…” His brow furrowed, then he set the mug down and grabbed Regulus’ hand. Pressing it to the brand on his wrist, he held Regulus steady until he calmed, and his fingers began to trace over the mark. “I’m a Sympathiser. We used to know each other. A bit. We went to school together.”

Regulus, fingers continued to trace along the puckered, scarred flesh. “Who are you?”

“My name is James Potter. You probably don’t…” His words cut off when Regulus’ fingers spasmed and he flinched.

“Potter. Potter. No. No they said you were dead. They said…they said,” he gasped. His breathing began to hitch, to hiccup, and James watched as Regulus’ lips began to tint blue.

Reaching over, he grabbed him by the face. “It’s okay. They’re liars. Those bastards locked you up, and they lied. Sirius is going to be here in a second, alright? He’s made you tea to help with…with the…”

“My Outbreak was a week ago,” Regulus said, sounding oddly serene as James still held him by the cheeks.

“It’ll help. Remus takes it.”

Another pause. Then a snort of laughter sound much more like the Regulus James had once known. “Lupin?”

At that, James actually did laugh as he shifted up and onto the bed. “Yes, Lupin. He’s here as well. Your brother’s tending to him.” With that, James eased both arms under Regulus’, and pulled him to a sit, up against the wall. He was unsteady, but didn’t fall back down, and James reached for the mug. “Can you hold this?”

Regulus flexed his fingers, then shook his head. “I don’t…I don’t think so. It’s been too long.”

James fought back the urge to put his fist through the wall, and instead occupied him with bringing the mug to Regulus’ lips, helping him swallow down mouthful after mouthful. When it was half gone, James pulled away, and glanced off to the side as Regulus attempted to swipe at a bit of the liquid dribbling down his chin.

“I can see a bit more today,” Regulus said after a long bout of silence. He lifted one hand, and waved it weakly across what would have been his field of vision. “More light, more dark.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” James asked quietly.

“I suppose.” Regulus licked his lips, then nodded for more, and James quickly fed him the last of the tea. When it was gone, Regulus let out a shuddering sigh and his head fell back against the headboard. “How did you get me?”

“I think,” James said carefully, “I ought to let your brother tell that part of the story.”

Regulus let out a weak laugh, then started to slide down. Instead of stopping him, James eased him back to the pillows and Regulus turned his face into it, breathing deep. “Is this your bed?”

“Yes.”

He breathed in again. “Smells like you. Dirty.”

“Thanks,” James deadpanned, and his lips twitched at the sound of Reg’s hoarse laughter.

“Everything there was…sterile. It smelt of blood and bleach and…” Regulus trailed off, his eyes slipping closed. He nuzzled his face into the pillow. “I never want to smell clean again. Ever.”

Unable to resist, James brought his fingers up, and carded them once through Regulus’ hair. There were tangles, but they gave way easily. He stopped however, when the other man went tense, and he pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

“Bit much,” Regulus said, his voice muffled by the pillow’s fabric. “I…it’s been a long time since anyone…”

“I’m sorry,” James said, this time in a whisper. He slid to the floor, shifting so his head was level with Regulus, and he put his hand down on the mattress, close but not quite touching. After a moment, Regulus shifted his hand over so his thumb was pressed to James’ pinkie.

“Thanks,” he muttered, sleepy now and drifting.

“I won’t go anywhere,” James swore quietly. “I won’t.”

Regulus’ mouth twitched, but he said nothing more in that moment.

*** 

Remus woke hours after the initial commotion, convinced most of what he’d seen was a fever dream. James had been there, with Regulus in his arms before disappearing into his room. Then there had been Sirius…and a baby? A tiny infant sleeping on his shoulder, and Sirius looked beside himself.

Remus hadn’t been able to remain conscious for long. The Outbreak had taken a greater toll on him than he’d anticipated, and even now as he made his way to the toilet, he wasn’t steady on his feet. But he was healing.

The wounds in his tendons weakened his fingers and toes, and his mouth ached from where James had taken his blood, but it was no worse than when he’d been little and James attempted to get to him. He remembered that in far too vivid detail, and some days it helped him get through the pain—knowing it could be so much worse.

Emptying his bladder and washing his face, Remus eventually made his way into the kitchen. Stood at the counter was the object of his affections…and the proof it had not been some pain-induced hallucination. 

Sirius had a small infant on his shoulder. The baby couldn’t have been more than a month old, a thatch of dark curls, small nose, pouting mouth. Its tiny fist was balled up, shoved into his mouth as it suckled quietly.

When Remus walked in, Sirius spun, and gave Remus a bewildered look. After a moment, he laughed, startling the babe for just a second. “I’ve no idea what I’m doing,” Sirius babbled, sounding near hysterical. “He cries, and he wets and soils his nappy and he wants to eat, and he doesn’t want to be put down and I…”

Remus blinked, snapping out of his shock, and crossed the room. His arms were still too weak to relieve Sirius of the child, but he put his hand on the warm back, and rubbed gingerly. “How?”

“Regulus begged,” Sirius said, running his free hand through his fringe, pushing it out of his eye. “Fuck. They had a _baby_ in there, Remus. Hooked up to…God only knows what. Needles in every vein, pumped full of shite. Fuck.”

Remus’ hand travelled up to Sirius’ cheek, cupping it gently. “You made it back.”

Sirius’ laugh was softer, though no less hysterical, when he shook his head. “By some miracle. By some miracle it worked. Andi’s making the drop-off tomorrow after noon. Then we have three days to get the bloody fuck out of the country and then...”

“We let it burn?” Remus asked. He couldn’t take his eyes off the infant.

“Your tea,” Sirius said by way of answer. He nodded at the mug waiting beside the burner. “James gave Reg his dose. But we have medication too. Proper stuff, not that black market poison shite.”

Remus swallowed thickly, then took the tea and tried not to look desperate at the thought of the medication he’d once had, and had been denied for far too long. He sipped the bitter, mouldy-tasting brew, and sighed. “You need to sit down.”

Sirius looked at him, then his shoulders sagged. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t think either of us do. But you should probably tell me what happened. From start to finish.”

So Sirius did. He spared no detail, no small thing. Remus hadn’t seen Regulus yet, but the description was enough to make Remus’ cheeks pale and his hands shake. 

“Is he going to live?” Remus asked after Sirius was done speaking.

“I think so.” Shifting the baby a little, he ran his hand down his face. “I can’t believe I took the baby, Remus. What are we…what are we going to do?”

“Save a life,” Remus said. He set his cup down, then held his hands out. Sirius hesitated for a long moment, but eventually eased the sleeping infant into the crook of Remus’ arms, letting out a tiny sigh of relief. 

The small child murmured, then pulled a crying face before slipping back into a quiet slumber. “You have the information on him?” Remus asked, dragging one finger down the child’s round cheek.

“Yeah. I wanted to go over it but James was taking care of Regulus and I wanted…I thought you might…” Sirius cleared his throat.

Remus nodded, and waited for him to bring everything back. The files were thick, full of information about Regulus’ condition, the experiments, the trial and errors. The whole thing made them both feel a bit ill, how clinical it was, how much further from a person the lab had viewed the younger Black.

As Sirius began to read, his voice began to shake with rage, and eventually Remus shifted close enough that their thighs touched. “It’s hard, I know. But you have him now. He’s safe.”

“But what they did…he…I…” Sirius swallowed thickly, staring down at a paragraph in particular which described the agony Regulus had undergone during one of their experimental treatments. The bleeding from his eyes, vomiting, weight loss, fits. How he’d cried and begged for them to let him die because he couldn’t take it anymore. And all of this outside of his Outbreaks.

“We can’t take on the world,” Remus said softly, putting his hand on Sirius’ thigh. “But we can save ourselves. We can save him. Isn’t that what this is about?”

Sirius turned to look at Remus, then down at the baby slumbering. “We saved this one. But how many more do they have, Remus? How much more are they going to do. It’s inhumane.”

“It isn’t,” Remus said quietly, “because to them we aren’t human. They’ve told the world we don’t feel the way humans do. We don’t belong. They can reason it away if they tell themselves that.”

Sirius’ hands curled into fists, but before he could respond, James came out. He looked weary and his hands had a slight tremble to them, and he met both Sirius and Remus’ gaze before sinking into a chair. He put his hands over his face for a moment, letting out a shuddering breath.

“He’s spoken. He’s lucid, but he can’t move on his own. Getting out of here with him like this is going to be tricky. He’ll be a liability.” Sirius looked instantly murderous, but James lifted a hand. “I’m not saying he’s not worth it. I’m just giving you the brutal truth. He could be our undoing.”

“Tell me you didn’t say that to him,” Sirius hissed.

James gave him a withering look. “I might be a bastard, but I’m not a monster. All I’ve told him is who I am, that he’s safe, and we’re getting him out of here.”

Sirius relaxed against Remus’ side. “Alright.”

“He was asking for you. I got him to drink his tea and he dosed off, but he’d probably like it if you were there when he woke up. He still can’t really see anything, and I don’t think he’s going to trust anything but you.”

Sirius looked over at Remus, then at the baby, hesitating.

“We’ll take care of him,” James said.

With a nod, Sirius finally rose, giving Remus’ shoulder a last squeeze before heading down to Regulus’ room. When Remus heard the door click, he turned his gaze back to James.

“A baby.”

James let out a tense laugh. “Seems fucking so. Bloody stupid if you ask me but…”

“Did you read the file?”

James shook his head. “Not yet. No clue if this baby’s Inflicted or…or anything, really. I don’t know what’s safe to give him if he needs a suppressant, and our supplies are low. This is bloody mad.”

“We’ll make it work,” Remus said. His hand trailed up into the soft curls, and he let them twist round his fingers. “It…I should be furious that we’ve got another helpless life in our hands. But I can’t help think this is the start to something…new. Different. Not just with the baby, but with Orion Black.”

“Maybe,” James said from behind a breath. “I don’t know. He seemed…” James shook his head, words failing him. “I don’t think he’s going to suddenly start fighting for our cause.”

“Not outwardly,” Remus said. “But he’s one of us now, whether he likes it or not. And he’s likely smart enough to know he can only keep it a secret for so long. When they find out…”

“Oh he knows. It’s the only reason he complied,” James said. He stood up, then dropped next to Remus and took the baby into his arms. It looked natural, Remus thought, and it was a painful thought. Because James should have had this. He should have been able to cradle his baby, to rock it to sleep and sing all his mum’s old lullabies and be there for all the firsts.

“Prongs,” Remus said quietly, leaning into James. “Is it really almost over?”

“I don’t know,” James breathed. “We don’t know what the hell we’re going to find out there.”

Remus reached down, picking up the files, and started to read. “I want to have hope, you know,” he murmured after a moment.

James, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the baby, nodded. “So do I. And Moony, I’m fucking terrified.”

*** 

It was nearly a full half hour before Regulus woke, and Sirius was quick at his side. “You’re safe,” he said.

Regulus immediately relaxed, and reached for his brother. “So. Potter.”

Sirius let out a sigh as he slipped onto the bed, trying not to think about how thin his brother was. “I didn’t intend that, you know. I…I was searching for a rebel, someone who’d be willing to go as far as I had to, to get you out. I didn’t think it would be him.”

“You know how I…”

“I know,” Sirius said, and closed his eyes. “I know because he’s got Lupin here with him.”

“He told me,” Regulus said, and there was a hint of his old, wry humour in his tone. “Have you two finally made it work?”

Sirius reached out and grabbed his brother’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Yes. I’m fucking in love with him. And it’s the bloody stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Including rescue me.”

“Rescuing you has been my sole focus since the moment they took you,” Sirius said fiercely. “But this…” He licked his lips. “Loving him like this…I don’t regret it.”

Regulus was silent for a long time. “Potter was kind to me. I’m sure he feels sorry for me.”

“He’s worried we won’t be able to get you out,” Sirius admitted, unable to lie to him just then. “I won’t leave you behind.”

Regulus tensed, but kept a firm grip on Sirius’ hand. “I can see better. I can see your shadow. Whatever they had me on, it’s leaving my system.”

“Good. I want you to sleep more. Then you can have a bath and we can try food, and you just…you just have to stay strong until Andi makes the drop, and then we’re out.”

Regulus nodded, his eyes closing, and he leant against his brother. “Thank you. I wanted to die so many times, Sirius. More times than I can really think about but…I’m glad I’m here. Because I also wanted to live.”

Sirius held him fiercely. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Ever again.”

A small smile played at Regulus’ lips even as he dropped off again. “I know.”


	11. Revolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done! Thanks for sticking with me xx

Lying on their backs, Sirius let his fingers run up and down Remus’ arm. The tendon over his wrist was scabbed, healing well enough, and he didn’t seem to notice as Sirius ghosted over it. The stars were out, clouds threatening off in the distance, but the night sky was spread out above them, the stars like a blanket.

“Sometimes I think it was cruel of my family to name us after the heavens. They’re fierce and beautiful and we’re…”

“They had the right idea,” Remus interrupted. He turned slightly, staring at Sirius’ profile. His hand lifted, the tips of his fingers tracing down Sirius’ forehead, over his nose, over his lips. “You’re fierce and beautiful.”

“I’m a farce,” Sirius corrected. “Selfish.”

“Saving your brother wasn’t selfish,” Remus said quietly.

“I used you.”

“And you loved me.”

Sirius lifted himself up, turned, propping the side of his body up on his elbow and stared down at Remus. “I do love you. I have for…well if I told you, I think I might scare you off.”

“Not possible.” Remus smiled gently, making Sirius heart flutter against his ribs almost violently, the feeling consuming him. “After all this, I think I needed to know there was more than just James. At times I think it could be just him but…” Remus let out a long, slow breath. “I needed to be more, and even to him I was still…” He blinked several times. “Inflicted. It’s why he protected me.”

“He loves you more than he loves himself.”

Remus laughed. “Yes, he does. He’s a fool, and he’s far too brave for his own good.” Remus’ eyes fluttered closed, and Sirius let his fingers brush along the long eyelashes. “The drop is late.”

Sirius swallowed. Remus wasn’t lying. Andi was supposed to drop the money the day before, and she never showed. It was too risky to venture into the city now, after having taken Regulus and knowing that Riddle would eventually take notice. He would take notice that Regulus, the baby, and the documents were gone.

“We need to name the baby,” Sirius said by way of answer. He didn’t want to think about Andi now. “If something happens and we need to…he should have a name.”

Remus turned so he was facing Sirius properly. “I’ve always liked the name Teddy. S’what Jamie keeps calling him.”

“Teddy Lupin.”

Remus blinked, then laughed. “You’re mad. He shouldn’t have to carry on a name like mine.”

“Your name is brilliant, just like you. And it’s better than being a Black.”

Remus hummed in thought, then leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to the underside of Sirius’ ear. “What about Potter. James hasn’t let him down properly unless he’s taking care of Regulus. Although he may reserve that for his own.”

Sirius pulled back. “His own?”

“Lily Evans. She was pregnant when she escaped. She asked him to come along, to leave me behind. He had the chance to flee. Our home was raided and they barely made it out of there alive. He should have listened to her.”

Sirius reached out carefully, cupping Remus’ cheek. “Do you really believe that? Even now?”

Remus let his face nuzzle into Sirius’ hand. “I don’t know.” After a moment, he sat up, offering a hand to Sirius. “Let’s go relieve James and read over those documents. If we don’t get the money, we can at least try to use the information.”

Sirius groaned, but let Remus pull him to his feet, and they made their way back into the small cottage. There was a makeshift cot near the sofa, the baby—now Teddy—slumbering quietly wrapped tightly, defensively, in his blankets.

James was nowhere to be found, which meant he was likely tending to Regulus who was slowly regaining his own strength. The file papers were on the table, but untouched after the first night they’d returned.

Andi was late, but neither of them were giving up hope yet, not until they got conformation that she was intercepted. And they still had a card to play. Gideon was still alive, still reporting, and still weighted with the information about Orion. Sirius believed his father wouldn’t back out on his word. Not now.

Remus went to get tea whilst Sirius sat, and picked up Teddy’s file. So far they knew he wasn’t Inflicted, but he carried the genes. He’d been brought to the lab for study, to see if the children of the Inflicted’s blood had any impact, or carried special properties.

Luckily they’d got him out before anything could go badly wrong for him. He was still healthy, chubby, wide-eyed though he was only a month old. There were no parents listed, as Sirius thumbed through the file.

All that was there was a series of numbers.

That looked familiar.

He stared at them hard, and didn’t look up until Remus sat down, setting a mug on the table. When he looked at Remus, his eyes widened in realisation. “Remus. Remus can I…” His hand went out, brushing along Remus’ shoulder where his registration number had been burnt into his skin. “Please.”

Remus went a bit pale, but lifted his shirt all the same, and Sirius read them out. Then stared at the paper. 

“Oh. Oh my god, Remus.”

A beat passed before Remus snatched the papers out of Sirius’ hand and read them. His eyes widened, cheeks coloured with a faint pink, his head shaking. “No,” he said quietly. “No. No. This is…no. Not possible!”

At the small shout, Teddy let out an unhappy whimper before turning his face and falling back asleep, and Sirius reached out, taking Remus by the wrist. “How? Had you…have you ever…?”

“No! Sirius I’ve never…I…” Then he stopped, eyes going wide with horror. “No. Umbridge.”

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but Sirius couldn’t out his finger on it. “Umbridge?”

“A woman. I was…I was fourteen. I was force to come in for tests and…and samples.”

“Oh.”

Remus swallowed thickly. “Oh god, Sirius. How many others could there be? How did they…why would they…?”

Sirius began to frantically read through, and when he got to the end, he looked up. “I think it’s just this one, Remus,” he said, trying to make his voice quiet and soothing. “It was a new project ordered by Riddle. There might be others but for you…” He trailed off when Remus looked over at Teddy’s cot, his gaze going soft. “He really is yours. Teddy Lupin.”

“What have I done?” Remus whispered.

Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him. “I don’t believe in fate or any of that shit. I’ve been in this god-forsaken place far too long to know there is no god watching out for us. Or if he is there, he’s having a bloody-good laugh at our expense. But I know there was a reason I’m here. And there’s a reason Teddy is. And that baby is yours.”

Remus let out a choked sob, letting Sirius pull him into a soft kiss. “We’ll protect him?”

“With our lives,” Sirius vowed, his lips pressed firm and fierce against Remus’ temple. “We’re getting out of here, Remus. I don’t care what we have to do.”

*** 

James heard the slight commotion, and he had a feeling he knew what it was. He’d discovered the numbers hours earlier. He’d just put the baby to sleep, little Teddy he was calling him—with those curls and that little nose—and he’d gone through the file.

He nearly rushed out to tell Remus and Sirius, but when he caught a glimpse of them lying under the stars, enjoying a rare moment of peace, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not now. There would be time enough to deal with whatever it meant.

Remus’ child.

James couldn’t deny the sting, but he wouldn’t acknowledge it. Not now.

Right now he was lying on the bed next to Regulus, staring into eyes a shade darker than Sirius’, ones that could see him now. At least well enough. Regulus was regaining his breath after his attempt to walk. His legs were shaking, but he’d made a lot of progress in the short days he’d been at the cottage.

And he was a shadow of himself, but James loved him fiercely, as fierce as he had loved the memory—the fantasy of him. Carding his fingers through Regulus’ hair, James was rewarded with a small smile, and he leant down, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Are you alright?”

“I could use a bath,” Regulus said quietly. After a pause, he reached up a weak hand and drew fingers along James’ jawline. “Something’s bothering you.”

James closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. “The baby. It’s Remus’ baby.”

“He does care for him,” Regulus said.

“No,” James said after another moment. “The baby is his. Genetically. It…I’m not sure how. But the baby’s file has Remus’ registration number.”

Regulus blinked, then let out a shaking breath. “Ah. Is that what all the erm…” He nodded his head toward the door even as he struggled to sit on his own. James resisted the urge to help him up, and watched as Regulus managed to prop himself against the wall. He grinned, triumphant and strong, and James rewarded him by cupping his cheeks and kissing him long, slow, and soft.

“It’ll be alright. They’ve already quieted.”

Regulus chuckled. “My brother would have been dramatic about it years ago. But now…”

James laughed. “Wouldn’t we all. Imagine if we’d got over ourselves back at Hogwarts.”

Regulus watched him for a long moment, before he shrugged up one bony shoulder. “I’ll take what I can get. Even if we don’t make it out of here.”

“We will,” James said, his tone like a vow as he buried his face in Regulus’ neck. “We will.”

Ten minutes later, James had his arms round Regulus’ waist as they stumbled across to the bathroom. James had run the water, heating it, and helped Regulus out of his clothes. He was too thin, not enough fat or muscle to support himself, but he was slowly gaining. He was stomaching food, porridge and breads and steamed veg. He was as determined to get strong as James was determined to make him strong.

“Would you get in with me?” Regulus asked as James helped ease him into the steaming water.

James laughed quietly, shaking his head. “Years ago, I would have given my right arm to hear you say that to me, you know.” He began to pull off his shirt, undo the button and zip on his jeans. Kicking them all to the side, he grinned as Regulus slid off to the side, making room.

“I know I look…” Regulus glanced down at his stomach where his ribs were protruding—his hips jutting out in sharp angles. “I look disgusting but…”

James shook his head, cupping his cheek. “You have never looked more beautiful. Because you’re here. You’re with me. You’re alive. We’re going to be safe.”

Regulus closed his eyes. “When I’m better and we can…” He swallowed and shook his head. “Will you kiss me now. Please?”

James didn’t need to be asked twice. He had no way to convey to Regulus that right now it didn’t matter the form he was in, only that he was in it, and here, and fighting. And maybe it was ridiculous for James to fall so hard so fast after so many bloody years, but he didn’t care. They had so little happiness and peace in life, what he did get, he would hold on with a death-grip. He would refuse to let go. He would cup his hands round this tiny, sparking flame and let it grow and blaze and consume.

He did his best to show that in this kiss, with pliant, gentle lips and a probing tongue, soft like velvet and warm with need. He tried to pour it into every caress as he brought his hands up through Regulus’ hair and let his body show Regulus that he was in love. And he didn’t care.

They washed, slow and languid like they had all the time in the world. Like there wasn’t a world of pain and monsters in human form waiting to devour them just outside the door if they made one wrong step. They silently agreed to take these moments as they came. To savour and treasure.

When Regulus initiated the second kiss, James’ head spun and he let the words tumble from his lips because it was now or never—he’d learnt that too often watching people he cared about carted away and murdered, left to burn in pits of bodies.

“I love you, you know.”

Regulus startled under his touch, but pulled back to search for his eyes. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes.” James drew his thumb down the side of Regulus’ nose and the innocence on his face reminded James so much of the teen he’d once loved at school. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

Regulus laughed then, the sound rich coming straight from the centre of his chest, and it made James glow all over. “Thank god. I…James I love you too.”

James pushed their foreheads together and smiled. “Good.”

*** 

Two days passed, and the deadline was almost on them. Sirius didn’t know what would happen after that. If they would be raided, arrested, murdered. Tortured. Perhaps the rest of them would become Inflicted and taken to…well, wherever the government was rounding them up and taking them.

History repeating, and no one cared.

But Sirius lost himself in the daily routine of taking care of the baby, of making love to Remus, and getting his brother on his feet, and keeping James centred. It was an odd life of being domestic, and being on edge.

Waiting.

And Sirius started to feel sure it wasn’t going to happen at all. That they were just lost.

Then he saw it, the flash of a torch in the window, and he’d gone out in a near panic. He had his fists curled, ready to fight for those he loved, those who he’d given up everything to save. But instead of finding an army of police and authorities, he found a familiar man with dark skin and wide smile clutching the hand of a girl no older than twelve.

“I have something for you,” he said.

Sirius’ eyes went wide. “Ted?”

Ted Tonks laughed. “I was hoping you’d recognise me.”

Sirius’ eyes darted to the girl. “Is that Nymphadora?”

She pulled a face, but nodded her head. “Mummy sent us.”

“And where is she?”

“Interrogation,” Ted replied quietly.

Sirius’ entire body went cold. He heard the door open and he quickly made a sharp motion for whomever it was to go back in. When the door clicked, Sirius rushed forward and took Ted by the shoulders. “Tell me my father…”

“He did. But it was necessary. She’s emptied the vaults under the name of Bellatrix and she got caught. I had the key to Alphard’s vault so whilst she was causing a distraction, I was able to empty it. There’s cash, and gold,” Ted held up a small rucksack, and thrust it at Sirius. “He’ll let her go, don’t worry.”

“Aren’t you in danger, being here?” Sirius asked, glancing at the puckered scar on Ted’s arm. He looked at Nym, but luckily—for the moment—her arms were bare.

“Probably, but it’s worth it. Andi told me everything. Do you…do you have him? Regulus?”

Sirius nodded, clutching the bag tight to his chest. “We do.”

Ted nodded. “Listen. There’s a car parked out there,” he waved his hand at the trees. “Andi’s last parting gift, she’s got a plane waiting. Midnight. Coordinates are in the car to get you there, and it’ll take you out of the country.” Ted put his hand on Sirius’ cheek. “She wants you safe. We all want you safe. Regulus…he’s been through enough.”

“We all have,” Sirius said fiercely. “Wait here. Just…I have something for you.” Turning, Sirius prayed Ted wouldn’t disappear as he bolted into the house, dropped the rucksack, and grabbed the stacks of information from the table.

“What…” James cried.

“Trust me,” Sirius gasped, and rushed out again. Ted hadn’t moved, and Sirius quickly shoved them all at him. “Information on Riddle. His plans, what he’s doing with…with infants.”

“Infants?” Ted sneered.

Sirius swallowed, nodding. “We saved one. We have one baby. But…there’s probably more. But it’s all in here, Ted. Please, please do what you can.”

His lips thinned slightly with tension, but he nodded and tucked everything under his arm. “Be safe, please. I want to know this wasn’t all in vain.”

Sirius looked down at Nymphadora, then yanked her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head. “There’s going to be a better world for you, I swear.”

“I know,” she said, giving Sirius’ arm a pat. “I’m going to join a resistance and stop this.”

Sirius chuckled, ruffling her short hair. “I’m sure you will. I have a feeling you’ll be leading it.”

“If you can get into contact with us after you’re out, please do.”

Sirius made a quiet promise, then took a step back. “Be safe as well?”

He didn’t move until Ted and Nymphadora were gone, then he burst back into the cottage. “Pack up,” Sirius gasped. “Pack up. We have a way out, but we have to leave now.”

*** 

Part of James was certain this was a trap. As they gathered what they could into the car, as he set a fire in the cellar which would spread slowly, and eventually consume all evidence they’d ever been there, he was sure it was a trap.

But the car held the information they needed, and as midnight crept upon them, the plane was there. 

James wouldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it, until they were in the air. Until he saw Britain below them, and the sea, and every agonising second suddenly behind them and without the ability to know what lay ahead, he thought it was a trap.

He wasn’t sure what it was that set him off. Whether it was the clouds covering their tracks, or the pilot letting them know they had ten hours to go before they landed—landed!—that it hit him, but tears pooled, then spilt over his cheeks and suddenly Remus’ arms were round him.

Off in one of the seats, Regulus was wrapped in a blanket, Sirius’ head on his shoulder, and they were whispering quietly to each other. Teddy was wrapped up, sleeping off the altitude changes in another seat, and now James and Remus were curled up together, staring out the window at the sky which was taking them away from everything they’d ever known.

“Moons,” James choked out.

Remus let out a small, watery laugh as the pads of his fingers brushed over his cheeks. “I know.”

“I might find her. Lily. And my…my…”

Remus nodded, his gaze flickering to Teddy, before looking back at James. “You might, yeah.”

“I feel cheated,” James admitted, pushing his face into Remus’ neck. “I love Teddy, but I feel cheated out of what I might have had.”

“You should hate me,” Remus whispered.

“It wasn’t you. It was…it was the real monsters, robbing us of what we deserved,” James growled. “And robbed me of being able to raise my child, and robbed you of being able to feel human for so, so many fucking years. I hate them, Remus. I hate them.”

“I know.” Remus kissed his forehead softly, and held him tight. “But you’re in love now. And we have a chance, and we’re young. And we have a chance to forget.”

“I’ll never forget,” James vowed. “I can’t let myself.”

Remus carded his finger through James’ hair. “By this time next year, we’ll feel safe.”

“Will we?” James asked, and for the first time in years—so many years—Remus heard vulnerability and insecurity in James’ voice.

Remus merely smiled at him, then nodded. “Yes. Yes, we will.”

*** 

**Epilogue**

Remus laughed as Teddy took three steps, falling onto his fluffy nappy in the sand. He pouted for just long enough to remember how much he liked the feel of sand in his toes, then giggled and kicked his feet. Sirius handed the boy a shovel, then reached out to Regulus for the small bucket which Teddy laughed and began to fill with sand.

There was a second laugh, and a wiry boy with dark skin and wild hair came rushing over, flopping down next to Teddy to show the small toddler what he’d caught. From what Remus could see, it was a small crab.

He glanced over at James who had his hand propped up over his eyes against the sun, and he was smiling. Harry, he was called. Harry, who didn’t really know his dad, but was getting to know him. Lily, who had stopped being angry once she realised James was alive, and safe, and not going to ask her to relive their past because she was married now, and happy, and they were all safe.

Remus twisted the ring on his finger, looking down at the small carving of the moon and star, then down at his wrists, scarred but no fresh wounds, and there hadn’t been for the year and a half they’d been safe. 

Earlier it was announced over the news that the underground revolution in Britain had taken Riddle and his supporters down. Orion Black had come forward, to take his place as the PM, and vowed to make changes. The laws against the Inflicted were being repealed, medication provided, the city was trying to rebuild.

“Would you ever want to go back?” Sirius asked hours later, back at their cottage as he wrapped himself round the back of Remus, kissing his neck. “Now that it’s safe?”

“I’ll never feel safe there,” James put in. He was watching Harry push Teddy in the small swing. “We’re happy here.”

Remus leant back into Sirius’ gentle touch, and nodded. “I know I am.”

“And me.” Regulus walked over, a limp he’d probably always have, but he looked like he had always meant to. He laughed when James tugged him hard into an embrace, a soft kiss exchanged before he could speak again. “I don’t need to go back to know we did the right thing.”

“We owe it to Ted,” Sirius muttered, nosing through Remus’ curls.

“We owe it to you,” James said. “I was…I hadn’t been thinking beyond myself and Moony. But you…” His throat went tight, and he shook his head. “Everyone owes it to you.”

Sirius let out a small breath. “I wasn’t thinking of everyone. Not straight away. Not until Teddy.” As if on cue, the small toddler let out a happy squeal as Harry lifted him and spun him round. “It worked out alright, didn’t it?”

James glanced at his son, and his godson, and the three other people he loved more than anything in the whole world, and he nodded. “Yeah. I suppose it did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I realized I was on the verge of totally jumping the shark for Loved in Spite of Ourselves, so I'm taking a short break from that. I'll be updating this fic along with my Stardust AU (and also writing my 100th fic). But be patient for the first because I don't want the ending to be shite, but I have to take a short holiday from it.


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